Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5659 of 6384
Don't judge a book by it's cover, but do judge a person by their Facebook status.
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08-29-2010 22:02
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Congrats, you're pregnant! But do you really need to take ALL those pictures of yourself showing your belly? I can't take 9 months of this!!
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08-29-2010 21:40
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Fighting cavaties. :)
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08-29-2010 19:53
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playing punch buggy with your mother
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08-29-2010 19:39 by levon
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A bum jus asked me "can you spare ne change", I said it @ the same time he did & called 'Jinx'. Now he cant ask 4 change until I say his name
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08-29-2010 19:22
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You know life sucks when you have to start wearing "corrective" underwear.
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08-29-2010 19:03
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If Glenn Beck runs for President, I want to see a birth certificate proving he was born on this planet.
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08-29-2010 18:41
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After Palin's speech today, we need a rally for Restoring Grammar.
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08-29-2010 18:40
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A Guy gives a girl 12 roses, 11 real, 1 fake, and tells her "I will love you until the last rose dies<3
inbox(1).... awesome feeling
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08-29-2010 16:56
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Justin Bieber: What song should I cover? Random Girl: If I were a boy.
just checked in @ none of your god damn business
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08-29-2010 14:02 by SLAYER
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Lock up Paris Hilton in guantanamo bay. or would that be cruel and unsual punishment for the prisoners?
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08-29-2010 11:24
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itunes wants more updates on a daily bases than a woman wants attention
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08-29-2010 10:56 by dandona
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Martin Luther King - I too had a dream. A great white shark came up through my floor boards to eat me and had train track braces on its teeth. Beat that Martin!
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08-29-2010 09:04
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People are more opposed to fur than leather because it's easier to harass old ladies and supermodels than argue with motorcycle gangs.
The world writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, it's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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08-29-2010 07:48 by MBH
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I don't think I could ever stab someone. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.
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08-29-2010 06:08 by MBH
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Be careful where you walk. You don't want to get cut on any broken dreams.
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08-29-2010 06:05 by MBH
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Old: Never take candy from strangers. New: Never click links from strangers.
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08-29-2010 06:03 by MBH
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