santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Last year I asked Santa to bring me the sexiest person . He sends me a note today "She is your Facebook friend_ you have her already" !

   Last year I asked Santa to bring me the sexiest person alive for Christmas and I woke up in a box. I guess I should have been more specific.

   just opened an envelope with one of those 'glittery' Christmas cards inside, it looks like a unicorn just jizzed in my lap

   Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift.

   Its never too early to start drinking on Christmas day :)

   Not feeling the Christmas spirit? Go elf yourself!

   So apparently when you get pulled over around Christmas and the cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over sir" The incorrect answer is "You know how important of a person I am and you figured this would be the only chance you would get to wish me a Merr

   Those starving without shelter in Africa would be glad to know Americans make houses out of delicious food during Christmas time.

   Feeling poor and full of cookies. You can tell it's Christmas.

   I call dibs on his armored train for Christmas!

   uncertain of what the etiquette is here, I got Kim Jong Il's name in Secret Santa.

   Decided this year I'm replacing the milk and cookies tradition with manly reach around. Just to see if that would get SANTA'S attention.

   Santa is that a toy in your bag or are you just happy to se me..

   i guess its getting time to do my christmas shopping,i will go to the dollar store for my big gifts and from there I will come back home and see if I can find somethings around the house that they havn't seen in awhile.

   For xmas my wife is getting SWIFFA so she can have fun while cleaning too.!!!

   With the weather being the way it is, the only way you could have a white Christmas is if Santa brought you cocaine.

   Nothing like a dysfunctional family trying to function for the Holidays.

   Dear Santa, I promise to be good next year… ;)

   Amazing,,, that all the xmas gifts I bought today were made in china ,,like what are the odds on that ..!!!

   I realized Santa wasn't real; when my toys had "Made in China" on them.