Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5485 of 6385
The only time of the year where it's ok to take candy from a stranger or a baby
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10-29-2010 12:45 by BenaZZ
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*SINGLE* is NOT a status. It's a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live & enjoy life without depending on others.
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10-29-2010 11:34
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will just have to find another McDonalds to frequent...... I am sooooo tired of management throwing me out of the ball pit..........
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10-29-2010 10:48
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Greatest txt msg of the day: Wow, I felt guilty this morning when I woke up after the dream I had about you!
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10-29-2010 10:14 by Michael
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Put this as your status if you know someone/are related to someone who suffers from "Put This Iin Your Status Syndrome" or PTIYSS. PTIYSS is a real disorder similar to Farmville that aggrivates the $H!T out of other people and should be taken seriously. T
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10-29-2010 10:02
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Step one: admitting you have a problem. Um.....I have a problem... DON't wanna get out of bed.
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10-29-2010 09:55
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New plan for the weekend: free Charlie Sheen and party with him.
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10-29-2010 09:55
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Does the State Hospital have weekend package deals? cause I need a vacation!
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10-29-2010 09:31 by mlg
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Your Halloween costume came to my house by mistake today, sorry I opened it. It was a rooster mask and a bag of lollipops. Going as a c**ksucker again I see!
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10-29-2010 08:54
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Beauty is why God invented eyeballs.., and your booty is why God invented my balls...
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10-29-2010 04:09 by Sam K
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Spongebob is trying to give Gary a bath, aren't they already underwater?
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10-29-2010 01:59 by Sabrina
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Electricity off?... Check. Doors and windows unlocked?... Check. Knives, Chainsaws, Machettes sharpened?... Double Check!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN
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10-29-2010 01:54 by Steve OH
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one of those "Real Men Of Genius" Bud Light is talkin' about.....
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10-29-2010 01:50
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: Halloween.. The only time of the year where it's ok to take candy from a stranger
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10-29-2010 01:39 by Elbow
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loading weekend… ██████████ 80% complete - (for Thursdays)
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10-29-2010 01:32 by julie
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Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I'd hear myself say that.
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10-29-2010 00:35
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Going to dress up as Maury Povich and visit the hospital delivery room telling the guy he is not the father.
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10-29-2010 00:22
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What do you think is the best Social Networking tool? Facebook? Twitter? Orkut? ... I say BEER! Yep, that's right. There's no other medium that makes friends bond as much as beer does....
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10-29-2010 00:16
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White House says Obama's "Daily Show" appearance was a success... In related news, the White House says Obama successfully poured cereal in his bowl this morning.
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10-28-2010 23:58 by Billy
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Cheesy pick up line for the weekend: "Well, your here so I got my treat.How about we go to my place for some tricks?"
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10-28-2010 20:26
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