Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5425 of 6385
Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass
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11-18-2010 08:57 by Orania
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Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.
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11-18-2010 08:55 by orania
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trying to think of someplace to fly to...that pat down thing might not be so bad! I mean...I AM past 50 so pats and excitement like that come far and few between
features more cowbell than legally allowed in seven countries
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11-18-2010 08:41 by Zack
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swears he heard a chinese say something along the lines: "Are you harbouring a fugitive?" These are the exact words: Hu Yu Hai Ding?
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11-18-2010 08:11 by NnS
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Parachute for sale. Used once. Never opened. Small stain.
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11-18-2010 04:11 by Lesley
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You can get anything from your man ladies just gag
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11-18-2010 02:45
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S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.
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11-18-2010 02:04 by BONNIE
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ROMANTIC IDEA: Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!
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11-18-2010 02:00 by BONNIE
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Just pulled out!...........Yep, I decided to pull out of the 2012 presidential race. Sorry america.
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11-18-2010 00:51
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The nice thing about being overweight is, if challenged, you can crush the competition....on a lighter note, you can then finish your donut......
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11-18-2010 00:24 by corey c
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Well aren't you just a waste of 2 billion years of evolution?
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11-18-2010 00:17
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Go Fish is more fun to play if you add "yourself" to the end of saying it.
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11-18-2010 00:16
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you are not big boned, you are fat . . . Bones don't jiggle!
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11-18-2010 00:14
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this one's not funny, keep scrolling . . .
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11-18-2010 00:08
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knows that the bird is a word.
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11-18-2010 00:02 by Mr.X
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thinks Katy Perry should be offered as a flavor at Baskin Robbins.
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11-17-2010 23:46
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today I saw a duck with a garbage bad around its neck, but instead of helping him, I sang the theme song for dark wing duck.
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11-17-2010 23:40
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says This Christmas, let's put misteltoe in our back pockets so all the people who hate us can kiss our..."
you know you've been going to alot of bars lately when you walk into a local McDonald's to buy a burger and accidently hand the guy at the register you're I.D."