Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5421 of 6385
If you smell cheese and see pizza ur hungry. If you smell cheese and see feet ur disgusted. Now make up ur mind will ya! Either you like the smell of cheese or not.
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11-19-2010 09:13
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If the best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup, I don't think I wanna wake up.
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11-19-2010 08:48 by Lesley
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Good morning. Are you having TSA fantasies?
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11-19-2010 07:51 by Bill
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I hope every school yard bully finds the kid from the Toyota Highlander commercials and mercilessly beat him.
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11-19-2010 07:42
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thinking we need to change the term "Big Brother" to "Creepy Uncle."
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11-19-2010 07:32 by Bill
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Anyone who says onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never been hit in the face with a pumpkin.
is hoping for some Salem style mayhem before having to sit through another Harry Potter snorefest.....Gandalf still owes me 8 bucks for the last one.
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11-19-2010 05:04 by mike
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I want my boss to tell my coworker to shave her mustache! If I have too she has to too.
Auto correct can go straight to He'll
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11-19-2010 01:42 by Zack
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As promised to Obama, Indians are creating jobs for americans. First recruit is Pamela anderson in Big Boss Season 4 ( Paid whooping USD 10 M per day for 3 days)
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11-19-2010 01:15
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Facebook will soon have to come with a warning label so they don't get sued! "Warning Facebook may cause some losers to stalk their ex's and cause them to have an asthma attack. If you have a tendency to be a stalker please do not use Facebook!"
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11-18-2010 23:47
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I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake.
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11-18-2010 23:43 by TC
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was looking for a date on Craigs list only to find out that "420 friendly" did not stand for maximum weight limit.
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11-18-2010 22:48 by ff1241
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I'm Your Huckleberry
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11-18-2010 22:19 by J Migas
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Today, no one wished me a happy birthday. I'm not suprised, today isn't my birthday
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11-18-2010 22:00
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CoD...... Keeping teenage pregnancy down, since 2003.\
Macaroni would be nothing if it weren't for cheese. Cheese, on the other hand, doesn't need macaroni to stay pimp. I think we all know who wears the pants in the macaroni and cheese relationship.
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11-18-2010 21:07
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If things aren't going right, go left
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11-18-2010 21:07
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We need to quit worrying about small pox, and start worrying about big pox
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11-18-2010 21:03
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Nobody loved poor Rudolph, until his birth defect served a purpose...nice story for the kids