Charles323 Funny Status Messages

   while I drink my coffee, I oftentimes stare out the window and ask myself: Am I attractive enough to prostitute?

   told the dog it is weird that he follows me into the bathroom all the time. So he walked out. Now I'm weirded out that he speaks English.

   believes insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it. ツ

   told the dog it is weird that he follows me into the bathroom all the time. So he walked out. Now I'm weirded out that he understands English.

   NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

   finally came out of the closet and told my family I'm white. It took a lot of courage on my part, but I felt it was time they understood why I can't jump or dance.

   just passed a holiday cocaine drug bust. It looks like some people are gonna be denied a white Christmas this year.

   thought he saw a ninja while driving home today - turned out to be just a light pole...or was it?

   thinks any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn't convenient at all.

   thinks the best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.

   wonders why - while changing your clothes at the YMCA - old men have to flaunt and swing their wrinkled junk around? Its like they're trying to prove their manhood or attempting to iron out the wrinkles, I'm not sure.

   “I knew you'd be back.” -The Drawing Board

   Allergy alert: This status may contain peanuts.

   wonders if shaving one's head make one truly aerodynamic and thereby fuel efficient? And - can I claim that as a deduction on my taxes?

   a member of the Jehovah's Witness protection program.

   knows the world cannot end in 2012, because my GNC protein bars expire in 02/2013

   wonders how a fine is justified as a predetermined tax for doing something wrong, and yet taxation is accepted as a fine for doing well?

   loves how Christmas movies capture the holidays in a way everyone typically experiences. In two hours: greedy men become charitable; enemies settle their differences; women fall in love with the unattractive nerd; and an angel get its wings.

   was surprised to receive a compliment about his VW Jetta today - especially at a Mazda/GM car dealership. The salesman said: "Well German engineering, you can't go wrong. I just can't believe they killed so many Jews. You have a Merry Christmas."