Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5309 of 6386
Next year we should just skip to 2013. Problem solved and a cool story for the history books.
People are puzzled with all the dead birds in Arkansas...Really? It's Arkansas folks...just surprised they lasted as long as they did before they figured they could end their stay there by hurling themselves to the ground...
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01-03-2011 17:18
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Wow! They have little tablets to turn your bathwater different colors. You know what I had to go through to turn mine yellow.
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01-03-2011 17:12
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I wonder what is more of a rarity, a four-leaf clover or a heterosexual cowboys fan?
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01-03-2011 15:40
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Me and my girlfriend are having a communication problem. Every time I ring, her husband answers the phone.
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01-03-2011 13:35 by @clarkysj
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once took a piss into the gas tank of a freight truck as a joke. That freight truck is now known as optimis prime
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01-03-2011 13:23
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wondering what's the appropriate amount of time to wait, before it's okay to punch somebody for saying "Happy New Year"...apparently I started too soon...
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01-03-2011 12:16
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Dear end slices of bread, I hate you!
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01-03-2011 11:22
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Dear Government, disco died, please update your hold music.
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01-03-2011 10:59
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I think the best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.
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01-03-2011 10:58
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there a Monday's for dummies ?? I really need it
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01-03-2011 08:14
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courtesy just isn't that common anymore. That and decent customer service.
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01-03-2011 07:49
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the electronic sign said to call 911 if we see drunk drivers, isnt it against the law to use your phone in the car ?
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01-03-2011 06:54
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This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
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01-03-2011 03:47 by XBbios
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Warning Labels are ruining process of elimination
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01-03-2011 02:38 by jrad77
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The gym was so crowded today I had to skip my workout. Fortunately the line at Dunkin Donuts was shorter than usual. I love New Year's resolutions...
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01-03-2011 01:12 by boom
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behind every successful woman there is a satisfied man but behind a satified woman there is an exhausted man
You know the times where you're laying on your back looking at your phone by lifting it in the air but lose your grip and hit yourself in the face?
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01-02-2011 23:44
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somehow misplaced his copy of 'Organization for Dummies.'
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01-02-2011 22:40 by markf
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n't making any New Year's resolutions. I'm still working on the ones from 2003.
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01-02-2011 21:02
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