Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5306 of 6446

3 ways to die early. smoking = 5 years early. alcohol = 10 years early. loving someone who doesn't love you = you die daily.
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01-26-2011 09:27
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I am so happy to hear that curiousity killed the cat. For a while, I was the only suspect..
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01-26-2011 08:59 by scottyp
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if I could afford the wood I would have your mouth boarded up!!!
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01-26-2011 08:59
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Im so FU***ing tired of this snow that I just ripped all of my kids possessions (books , Comforters etc) that have any type of reference to SNOW WHITE... yeah..F**ck her too!
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01-26-2011 08:55 by CHICHI
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You're 10 years old and have a laptop, iPod and BlackBerry. Dude when I was 10 I had pokemon cards.
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01-26-2011 08:45 by Seddy90
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I've been f***ed up by Karma so many times I could write the KaRma Sutra by now…
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01-26-2011 08:42
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once lived in Chicago about 20 yrs ago. Apparently that makes me eligible to run for city Mayor.
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01-26-2011 08:11
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You are the kind of a person that we could use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
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01-26-2011 07:08 by Will
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Who designed the pants with the word pink on the back? It should be on the front, and the back should say brown.
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01-26-2011 06:52 by Will
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I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
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01-26-2011 06:43 by Will
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WOW!!! Your profile picture is a car, I never knew you were a transformer.
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01-26-2011 06:34
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Dear MySpace, Oh I`m sorry, What`s the name of YOUR movie? Sincerely, Facebook
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01-26-2011 06:32
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Minute of silence for the girls who lost their boyfriends/husbands to BLACK OPS.
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01-26-2011 06:31
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Don't like me? Have a seat with the rest of the a$$holes waiting in line for me to give a f*ck.
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01-26-2011 06:24
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Dear Yahoo, Ive never heard someone say "i dunno lets 'Yahoo It." Just Saying. Sincerely, Google.
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01-26-2011 06:19
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A picture speaks a thousand words, but with photo-shop, it tells a thousand lies
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01-26-2011 06:18
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Dear Facebook, we asked for a 'dislike' button, not a confusing profile layout, or a smaller font size! Sincerely, Facebook User
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01-26-2011 06:17
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So much sh!t comes out your mouth that your a$$ is jealous
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01-26-2011 06:13
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I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm :)
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01-26-2011 06:08
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has been trying to plug the keyboard from his PC into his HI-FI system. Call me stupid if you want but that would just be stereo typing
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01-26-2011 05:06
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