santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   the only reason I enjoy Christmas is because it is the one time of the year that my habit of sitting in front of a dead tree, eating chocolates out of my socks, whilst waiting for a strange fat man to enter my house, is considered a normal event!

   "stepping on a frog"just isnt that funny at Christmas dinner at the in-laws.

   I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas.

   I found a sealed turkey sandwich, ranch dressing and gatorade in my car. Santa must of mixed my car up with my stocking.

   if you negate those who celebrate for the presents, or for the excuse to drink, or for the day off work, or for the reason to party, or for a morning in bed, the amount of people who truly celebrate Xmas is lower than the nos of actors in a 1 man show!

   I may not always celebrate holidays, but when I do, I prefer Christmas. Stay cheerful, my friend!!

   When first talking to your kids about Santa, don't say he's God's drunk brother in law. Trust me...

   Excellent! My prediction of the millions of "Merry Christmas" status updates is coming along perfectly. Now all I need is a million "Happy New Years" status updates and my goals of knowing the obvious will be complete.

   If all my Christmas presents were wrapped in bubble wrap... it's be like two gifts in one!!

   i hope santa brings me my post apocalyptic survival kit tomorrow! aka: a 12 pack

   This just in... Casey Anthony just got ran over by a reindeer, walking home from the stripclub Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas everyone!

   Merry Christmas (I'm not showing off but I bet I get that trending all day today)

   You say toilet, I say Christmas beer vomit receptacle.

   If judging others is a sin, Santa must be going to hell.

   I'm dreaming of a liberal Christmas, where nothing is paid for, I always sit on the couch with my hand out, waiting for the people with jobs to pay me more.

   .Merry Christmas to most,and to a select few of you may santa flush his $hitter over your chimney!

   guess I have got to that stage in life where I am either too old for presents or my family has converted to hinduism in my abscense :(

   I hate the smell of Walmart when I walk in. It smells like old beer and subway. Merry Christmas everyone!

   Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental b@stard.

   Well Santa has started his Journey and is now in Australia. I hope he is careful over Iran. Last thing we need is to have him shot down and used as the latest Iranian Spy drone..