Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   supports the elderly by watching the Superbowl Halftime show.

   living in a pineapple under the sea

   thinks her Chia Pet has rabies

   Golf is a good walk ruined

   wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.

   i dont know much about pies, but daaaaamn you make my banana cream!

   "Yeah, I'm on faithbook." -Mike Tyson

   finds it sad that the Who's hit single, "Who Are You," has a whole new meaning -- Alzheimers

   I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away.

   February. It's not a leap year, but feel free to take a flying one anyway.

   good girls blush when they watch porn but bad girls smile coz they know they can do better!!! ;-)

   there are two kinds of facebook friends... the kind on FarmVille and the kind you like.

   not saying that "The Who" are old, but half of the people watching the superbowl last night were wondering "Who are those guys playing the CSI theme song?"

   Wouldn't it be cool if "brownie points" could be collected and traded in for real brownies?

   Cross-eyed teacher's can't control their pupils

   playing backyard football with Betty White and Abe Vigoda....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit.

   Damn you Hostess Snacks. For your hard to open wrapper prevents me from successfully obtaining the delicious content within

   is quiet, shy, sweet and innocent! Sorry I couldn't even TYPE that with a straight face! LOL

   Alzheimers: You wake up and wonder who's sleeping next to you, where you are, what you did the night before, why you're naked..... kinda like college, isn't it?

   I swear FB. Your making me think my computer is all messed up. lol. How is this better than before? Your gonna make me start my own damn company...