Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 19:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The penalty for bigamy is having two mother in-laws.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 16:03 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well, I guess we are going to see "The Nutcracker" on Saturday! My mother-in-law, not the play.......
←Rate | 12-15-2018 00:20 by JeffW Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where would I be without my mother? Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger.
←Rate | 06-06-2011 21:52 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 21:11 by Maureen Comments (0)  

   messageicon This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.
←Rate | 01-11-2020 19:06 by Starman Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother-in-law came to visit, I asked, "How long are you going to stay?" She said, "As long as you want me to." I said, "You're not even going to stay for coffee?"
←Rate | 11-10-2010 11:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon It would make your mother proud if you could NOT, walk, talk, spell, and wear your damn pants like you were raised by a rap video your whole life.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 15:34 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...
←Rate | 05-10-2015 22:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't care how old I am. If I lose my mother in a super market I'm going to panic.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 04:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope all you moms out there had a great Mother's Day! (If you're not a mom but would like to be, message me for details)
←Rate | 05-10-2011 16:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone at work has been stealing my lunch from the refrigerator....... Tomorrow, I'm bringing a cat food sandwich... BON APPETIT MOTHER F*CKER!!!
←Rate | 03-27-2012 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon what do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 08:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a difficult day for me today. Today is the day I tell my dog that I am not his biological mother and that his real mother was a b!tch.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 21:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just Overheard on BlackOps online;Guy 1: YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION!!!! Guy 2: I know I Hate my sister!
←Rate | 12-05-2010 05:00 by Rachael Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
←Rate | 06-13-2011 14:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep
←Rate | 08-09-2012 18:24 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ok honey don't freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn't do the dishes.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 03:52 by Zinc Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't teach me how to handle my children, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement"
←Rate | 05-09-2011 17:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My friend came over and left his laptop on the floor. My mother thought it was a scale. Conclusion: My mother weighs 950 dollars.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 13:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  

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