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   messageicon If the NFL keeps this up, we've got a shot at playing again. - White Guys
←Rate | 09-17-2014 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The road to recovery from my addiction to sexual innuendos has been a long and hard one. But the end is in sight... I can see it coming.
←Rate | 10-09-2014 04:22 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd have sex with Martha Stewart just for the amazing breakfast she would make the next morning.
←Rate | 09-01-2015 11:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought my wife said she was into butt sex...... Turns out she is into everything BUT sex.
←Rate | 09-18-2015 18:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On February 14, 269 A.D., a Catholic priest in Rome was tortured, beaten with clubs, and finally beheaded. His name was Valentine. Just thought you'd want to know.
←Rate | 02-14-2014 07:54 Comments (2)  


   messageicon If you think my status upd@tes are ridiculous, you should see my life choices.
←Rate | 07-25-2012 15:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, holding out on sex with your man to get what you want will not work. He will just take longer showers.
←Rate | 08-21-2012 19:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate vans. Nothing good ever comes out of them. Kidnappers... Terrorists... Soccer moms.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 14:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in one of those weird marriages where we still have sex every day.. With each other!
←Rate | 08-23-2012 14:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? "It's open."
←Rate | 09-02-2012 00:49 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Statefarm Insurane Advertising Team, It's time to re-invent yourself thanks.
←Rate | 11-10-2012 04:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.
←Rate | 11-15-2012 21:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to assume these next four weeks are incredibly difficult for anyone whose grandma actually was run over by a reindeer.
←Rate | 12-01-2012 09:57 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only part I believed in the movie Titanic was when she wouldn't move her fat ass over and let Jack on the raft with her.
←Rate | 10-02-2012 10:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society
←Rate | 10-21-2012 22:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only way your world is ending on the 21st is if you get married that day.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 00:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beauty tip: Having a bad hair day? Solution: Wear a low cut blouse.
←Rate | 12-20-2012 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never underestimate a woman's ability to make you apologize when she is the one who is clearly in the wrong.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at a job interview the other day when the guy asked me, "How would you describe yourself in 5 words?" This was a tough one I thought to myself. So after a minute or two I replied, "I'd do it by talking."
←Rate | 01-08-2013 18:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon I honestly never believed that whole story about Lance Armstrong walking on the moon.
←Rate | 01-14-2013 19:15 by Rick Comments (0)  



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