Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Are you butt dailing, cause I swear that a$$ is calling me
←Rate | 10-25-2015 16:37 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
←Rate | 10-25-2015 17:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A verbal agreement is not worth the paper it's printed on.
←Rate | 10-25-2015 20:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Glen died on walking dead tonight guys
←Rate | 10-25-2015 23:26 Comments (1)  

   messageicon For all you people thinking about giving healthy Halloween treats, just stop now while you are ahead
←Rate | 10-26-2015 07:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Monday's aren't bad.. You just hate your job
←Rate | 10-26-2015 09:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Monday's don't suck... Your life does
←Rate | 10-26-2015 09:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "One man's trash is another man's treasure" is not the advisable way to tell your child he was adopted.
←Rate | 10-26-2015 09:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your SMS inbox is your shopping updates app now. Card transaction information Order confirmation Package tracking Delivery Information
←Rate | 10-26-2015 11:07 by udit Comments (0)  

   messageicon We know how annoying it is when skinny girls keep talking about how fat they are. Stop fishing for damn compliments
←Rate | 10-26-2015 13:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nurse::::You unplugged your grandmothers life support ,, well excuse me lady but ..My phone had 1% life left..
←Rate | 10-26-2015 14:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sorry you stood next to me at the urinal in sandals, bro. What did we learn from this unfortunate accident?
←Rate | 10-26-2015 15:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trigger Warning: if someone's free speech offends you, maybe the United States is not the country for you....
←Rate | 10-26-2015 15:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Halloween is a great time to get rid of any expired or unused meds.
←Rate | 10-26-2015 17:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gotta love Lamar Odom.... This is the first time in history the hookers and coke actually saved a guy's marriage.... Rock on Lamar
←Rate | 10-26-2015 17:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think that age is just a number, then prison is just a house .
←Rate | 10-26-2015 17:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm flirtatious, which means i'm poor.
←Rate | 10-26-2015 18:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us...
←Rate | 10-26-2015 20:45 by eengrms Comments (0)  

   messageicon After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
←Rate | 10-27-2015 02:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I asked the librarian for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat. She said it rang a bell but didn't know if it was there or not.
←Rate | 10-27-2015 07:18 Comments (0)  

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