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   messageicon If Sesame Street really cared about children,,, they'd realize Big Bird could feed a hungry family for a month.
←Rate | 10-16-2013 18:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson's to take his family members to the vets and get them microchipped.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't.
←Rate | 02-02-2015 05:43 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
←Rate | 02-18-2015 21:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be ashamed of who you are, that's your parents job.
←Rate | 05-07-2015 08:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
←Rate | 06-16-2014 13:51 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Door bells should be made illegal in commercials. Pet owners know what I’m talking about.
←Rate | 06-20-2014 05:14 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
←Rate | 09-08-2014 14:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
←Rate | 06-03-2015 13:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.
←Rate | 06-20-2015 16:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon INTERVIEWER: Why did you leave your previous job? ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.
←Rate | 10-04-2015 01:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Facebook movie is okay, but the book was better.
←Rate | 02-05-2014 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The pity train has derailed at the intersection of “suck it up” and “move on” and has crashed into “I don't give a damn”. So sorry ….
←Rate | 02-02-2011 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if gasoline is based on supply and demand and a third of the Nation has been crippled by this winter storm, doesn't it only make sense that gas goes down in price for at least a few days?
←Rate | 02-03-2011 08:38 by digitalevolutiondj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair
←Rate | 02-08-2011 04:45 by kibobi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the kids wander around the house I can just see them thinking, "what can I f*ck up?"
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
←Rate | 02-14-2011 19:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most awkward place on earth: An elevator. 5 strangers. Silence. A bad smell.
←Rate | 02-15-2011 17:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never run after a bus or a woman....There will always be another.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 00:59 by pUnKiE Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let me put it simply. You can't find out who sees your profile. You won't win Southwest Airlines tickets. You won't know what that man saw when he walked in on his daughter. There are no free iPads. And you can't see the video of Osama's death.. Not on
←Rate | 05-09-2011 17:26 by marq Comments (1)  



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