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Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
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05-18-2011 07:07
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Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends
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03-09-2011 11:53 by
BEGO
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kiss me I'm Irish, and slip me some tongue cause I think there's a lil french in there too
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03-17-2011 09:58
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I'm living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people! Respect it!
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03-23-2011 16:43 by
Marshall the Great
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Most people like to say living the dream, I perfer to say surviving the nightmare.
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03-24-2011 13:52 by
mgr14
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If the government would charge a 3% stupidity tax on themselves alone, they could pay off the national debt in no time..
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04-04-2011 11:00
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I hate when people see me at the super market & the're like "Hey what you doing here?" & I'm just like "Oh you know hunting zebras"
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09-20-2011 10:18 by
SEAN
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I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I'm going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
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09-22-2011 17:33 by
BEGO
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Just joined the support group Hokey pokey Anonymous ..A place to turn yourself around..***
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10-03-2011 15:11
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HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
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07-23-2014 10:07
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That moment when you see your EX with that person they told you not to worry about during your relationship...
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07-27-2014 02:42 by
Udit
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Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god.
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08-02-2014 08:53
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Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
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10-21-2014 14:38 by
StonerDudee
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A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he'd couldn't whine on FB.
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03-07-2014 15:29 by
snotty
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Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if the guy's not a vampire.
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04-06-2014 20:55 by
MWC
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I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
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04-23-2014 05:27 by
flinnie
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Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
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02-11-2015 05:34 by
huck
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I think instead of doing laundry I'm just going to buy a second hamper...
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01-17-2014 16:16 by
eengrms
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Just found out that being a "person of interest" is not as cool as it sounds.
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03-30-2011 23:16 by
Paul
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When you think all the way back to being sperm, we are all winners.
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04-01-2010 11:39 by
Shamus
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