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   messageicon Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends
←Rate | 03-09-2011 11:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon kiss me I'm Irish, and slip me some tongue cause I think there's a lil french in there too
←Rate | 03-17-2011 09:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people! Respect it!
←Rate | 03-23-2011 16:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people like to say living the dream, I perfer to say surviving the nightmare.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 13:52 by mgr14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the government would charge a 3% stupidity tax on themselves alone, they could pay off the national debt in no time..
←Rate | 04-04-2011 11:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people see me at the super market & the're like "Hey what you doing here?" & I'm just like "Oh you know hunting zebras"
←Rate | 09-20-2011 10:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I'm going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just joined the support group Hokey pokey Anonymous ..A place to turn yourself around..***
←Rate | 10-03-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
←Rate | 07-23-2014 10:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when you see your EX with that person they told you not to worry about during your relationship...
←Rate | 07-27-2014 02:42 by Udit Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god.
←Rate | 08-02-2014 08:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
←Rate | 10-21-2014 14:38 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he'd couldn't whine on FB.
←Rate | 03-07-2014 15:29 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if the guy's not a vampire.
←Rate | 04-06-2014 20:55 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 05:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
←Rate | 02-11-2015 05:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think instead of doing laundry I'm just going to buy a second hamper...
←Rate | 01-17-2014 16:16 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out that being a "person of interest" is not as cool as it sounds.
←Rate | 03-30-2011 23:16 by Paul Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you think all the way back to being sperm, we are all winners.
←Rate | 04-01-2010 11:39 by Shamus Comments (2)  



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