Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Charlie Sheen has all this "tiger" blood I guess its only fair Tiger has a little "Charlie" blood. 
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
. Have you heard the saying the truth will set you free? I told the judge the truth and got three years.
If you're ever in a bathroom & see a glory hole; a fun thing to do is attach a hornet nest to it.
I wish I had a "friend with benefits." By benefits, I mean they'd own an ice cream store and the benefits would be free ice cream.
Monica Lewinsky has launched her new 'patriotic' theme designer dresses...they are available in red, white and blew
Notice when you call a 1-800 techical support number you get an assistance operator in India? Wonder when a person in India call for technical support if they get an amercian operator.
I'm guessing an appropriate term for those pics women take of their own rear-ends could be labeled as "smellfies."
You shouldn't be buying lobster when you're on a tuna fish budget.
for Lent I'm giving up relationships...oh, nevermind, they gave up on me already
FYI,,, Bobcat is just short for Robertcat. ...*Science.
My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive many times and hoping they are more brave than I am.
....... I was thinking ...... Considering the state of affairs in this country .... We should make politicians wear shock collars that go off each time they lie. Most would die of severe electrocution!
Guys: I'm not a tomboy, but I'm not a girly girl either. Like I want to get my nails done but also I wanna get muddy and set stuff on fire. Wanna date me?
It's always good to announce your break-up via Facebook. It's the easiest way to let her friends know you're available.
The two best days of my life: The day I got married and the day my divorce was final.
Dance like its back in 1999 when no one had a camera phone.
National Drink Wine Day is February 18th....why is this not a stat holiday?
Fall in love with someone who makes you laugh or you're be really bored when you're 80 years old, with a broken hip, and sex is impossible.
My performance with my wife last night was amazing. I lasted like 45 minutes!... Then I finally gave in and admitted she was right. 