Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet recalls.... 
Cleveland better not get too excited about LeBron coming to town, He's just coming home to get his hairline then he's leaving again.
I'm thinking of going on an alcohol diet.... As I need to lose a few days!
Marriage licenses must be reviewed and renewed yearly.
I don't chase after girls... unless I have my inhaler with me.
Corn is the ultimate in and out of body experience.
"No thanks. I'm a Vegan." Is always a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby.
"What kind of a sick freak would have a painting of a postman being sodomised by a donkey?"... "That's a Rorschach ink blot test.".... "Ummm, a what?"
The only time I put my phone down is when it rings....
Herro? Time Warner????
Don’t call me. Alcohol you later
Last night I got more wasted than a Liberal Arts degree
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I'd still be in bed sleeping.
I'm getting into a drunken brawl with the first person that sterotypes Irish.
I wish I had Shazam for faces...
I can only Facebook for so long. The toilet seat makes my legs go numb.
I think Lebron misunderstood coach when he was told to share the ball more...
My boyfriend asked me to act like a 'naughty school girl' so I forged him a note from my mom saying I don't have to participate.
Date night with the wife tonight... It'll be nice to argue and fight in public for a change.
The sky is the limit unless you understand science. 