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   messageicon wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we're not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?
←Rate | 04-20-2010 19:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't hold grudges. I simply maintain them until you apologize or admit that you are wrong.
←Rate | 11-30-2010 20:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the cable goes out, I like to sit down and do some writing. ...Usually a check to the cable company.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:52 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon So the government spies on us all the time and its no big deal, but someone hacks in and steals celebretards nudies and its a national emergency? SMH
←Rate | 09-03-2014 05:32 by Guy Fawkes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
←Rate | 11-05-2013 13:02 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon I am really looking forward to my favorite Thanksgiving tradition. Watching the "Black Friday" shoppers at Walmart trampling each other on the evening news.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 19:03 by Eddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had this one night stand a few weeks ago but I wasn't satisfied with the craftsmanship so I returned it and got a bedside table instead...
←Rate | 08-14-2015 15:31 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
←Rate | 10-04-2015 11:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
←Rate | 03-24-2015 06:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Fact: Tan cellulite looks better than pale cellulite.
←Rate | 03-20-2011 01:24 by jt Comments (0)  


   messageicon After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 17:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them
←Rate | 06-08-2011 17:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To that person who long, long ago, first looked at coffee beans and thought "You know, I bet we could make some kind of hot drink out of these things!", I THANK YOU. VERY VERY MUCH! :)
←Rate | 06-22-2011 13:31 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sick of the cold. I'm ready to complain about it being too hot.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 12:51 by @JimGaffigan Comments (0)  


   messageicon The American dream is no longer owning your own home. Its moving out of moms.
←Rate | 05-23-2012 16:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon i hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan...
←Rate | 01-24-2012 21:22 by gee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
←Rate | 03-27-2012 21:55 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always go the extra mile. The restraining order says I have to.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 12:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



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