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HiYourJon Funny Status Messages
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You know it's a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
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05-07-2013 01:39 by
HiYourJon
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My favorite hobby is to add my neighbors' wireless printer to my PC and print a document that says I'M INSIDE YOUR HOUSE AND COMING FOR YOU.
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05-09-2013 20:50 by
HiYourJon
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Thanks ABC News, if it wasn't for your extensive news coverage, I wouldn't have known that it gets hot outside in the middle of July.
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07-08-2012 13:10 by
HiYourJon
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In alcohol’s defense, i've done some pretty dumb shít while completely sober too.
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07-21-2013 17:14 by
HiYourJon
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I've already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I'm gonna "come on down" whether they call my fuckíng name or not.
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06-29-2013 23:47 by
HiYourJon
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In a stunning display of maturity, Kid Rock announces he is changing his name to Adult Contemporary.
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05-22-2013 15:25 by
HiYourJon
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I don't always drive the speed limit. But when I do, there's drugs in my car.
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07-07-2012 12:21 by
HiYourJon
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It's Google's 15th birthday today. Typical fifteen year old. It's got an answer for everything.
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09-27-2013 11:21 by
HiYourJon
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I think it's cute how my bankruptcy attorney thinks I'm going to pay him!
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06-22-2012 16:03 by
HiYourJon
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why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo. who has hair on their shoulders. whos shampooing their shoulder hair. please come forward
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05-19-2013 11:45 by
HiYourJon
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Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
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07-15-2013 10:54 by
HiYourJon
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If you can't handle me at my drunkest, you don't deserve me when I'm sober.
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07-25-2012 10:24 by
HiYourJon
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Lawyer: "You've been released!" Aaron Hernandez: "Great, so I can go home?" Lawyer: "Shìt, sorry. I mean you've been released by the Pats."
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06-26-2013 13:11 by
HiYourJon
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Bravo to the Capitol police. Atleast someone in Washington is doing their job!!
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10-03-2013 17:31 by
HiYourJon
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Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
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07-02-2013 17:02 by
HiYourJon
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My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a constipated muppet trying to list off active ingredients in Children’s Tylenol.
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06-06-2013 10:03 by
hiyourjon
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When I'm bored late at night, I text random numbers saying: “You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. PS: I love you."
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04-11-2012 21:20 by
HiYourJon
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If your hat is intentionally crooked while you are pushing a stroller then we know your child was an accident.
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05-27-2013 23:12 by
HiYourJon
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This cop is going to look like such a dumbass trying to give me a field sobriety test while I'm invisible.
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07-25-2013 00:06 by
HiYourJon
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TO THE GOVERNMENT AGENTS WHO'VE BEEN ILLEGALLY MONITORING OUR TEXTS, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THIS: Was that message I sent Ashley too forward?
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06-07-2013 18:10 by
hiyourjon
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