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My dog says that dress is grey. 
I wonder if Joan Rivers is an organ donor or a mannequin donor? ....
I was washing my gum and my wife almost put cloths in with my gum !!!!!!! she almost ruined a whole pack !!!!! .........Gonna let it slide cause I love her
if your neighbors call the police on you for playing loud music, just tell the cop "you can dance if you want to or you can leave your friend behind..."
Ladies: Next time you shake a man's hand just remember you're really shaking his d*ck's best friend.
They say you will eat approximately 23 spiders in your life,,, but really you can eat as many as you want.. Treat yourself, you deserve it.
*walks into CVS*...."Hi, sorry I have another return. This brand of dental floss tastes like blood too."
blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
Narnia is a bad movie for gays...it asks you to remain in the closet for the best adventures and fun
has a mind like a drill bit! It is twisted, and very dangerous if used improperly
4 out of 5 midgets,,, make 2 people.
Well, obviously we have a Santa in the North Pole. He's climbin' down yo chimney, droppin' yo' presents off Bringin' cheer so ya'll need to hang the stockings, deck the halls, and leave some cookies cuz he's visiting errrybody out there.
Holy Crap!!! I'm watching Fox News as we speak and they just discovered bigfoot for real... wait wait.. disregard it's Chaz Bono....
Sexual frustration should recharge phone batteries.
I rear ended a midget with my car the other day. So he go out and looked at me and said, "Im not happy," so I asked, "So then what Dwarf are you?
can't help think that Christianity is based on one woman's affair, where her cover up story got out of hand..........
just got a Nintendo video game unit for my bathroom....it's called the Wii-Wii.
Quit complaining abt Obama n stuff, WALKING DEAD4 premiers today n I can't see cos I lstay in Nigeria
You haven't lived if you have never done a line of coke off a girl's ass.
Don't forget to set your clocks back 200 years before you go to bed tonight. 