Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4599 of 5594

   messageicon The best part about work is leaving.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 08:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what are these feelings you speak of?
←Rate | 05-20-2014 08:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon $764 for a round trip airline ticket. I hope they don't go broke giving me 3 ounces of Sprite and 5 peanuts!!
←Rate | 05-20-2014 08:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced you're an idiot but I can tell you're not aware of this information.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women. Always want to be choked at the wrong time.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 10:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to bookkeeping, I'm broke
←Rate | 05-20-2014 10:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you suffer from Feelings and Sh*t, Alcohol might be right for you....Don't ask your doctor, Just do it.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 10:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should always listen when a woman speaks - unless she's crazy, then pay close attention.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama on - VA scandal: DIDN'T KNOW Benghazi security: DIDN'T KNOW Fast and Furious: DIDN'T KNOW Lose your doctor: DIDN'T KNOW Bin Laden hit: MASTERMIND
←Rate | 05-20-2014 11:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm eating at subway today, I'm trying to figure out how Jared did it. He said he just eat fresh... It's not even on the menu!
←Rate | 05-20-2014 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes . . . When you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes . . . When you are in pain, no one sees your hurt. Sometimes . . . When you are worried, no one sees your stress. Sometimes . . . When you are happy, no one sees your smile. But just fart one
←Rate | 05-20-2014 19:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We do pretty well around here considering that people are basically good." -Satan talking to Lucifer
←Rate | 05-20-2014 19:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon unnecessary kindness is your first clue to picking out an "up to no good".
←Rate | 05-20-2014 19:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Billboard Music awards was the other night and there was an amazing hologram of Michael Jackson. He performed a new song called "Slave to the Rhythm." It was so realistic, Tito actually asked it for money.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 20:02 by Mark M Comments (1)  


   messageicon A man in Phoenix accidentally shot himself in the leg while in line at Walmart on Saturday. Or, as they call that in Arizona, “taking a selfie.”
←Rate | 05-20-2014 20:03 by Mark M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not listening to a single word you've said makes it impossible for you to run out of things to say to me.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 21:32 by @SammyMana Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mike Tyson , Miguel Olivo .....if the zombies do come, it looks like they're starting as athletes 1st
←Rate | 05-20-2014 21:55 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure the New Jersey state bird is just a middle finger.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex so good you get her name right.
←Rate | 05-21-2014 00:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
←Rate | 05-21-2014 00:59 by Baddie Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left