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I've decided to quit drinking! Instead I'm peeling the labels off my beer sticking them to my forehead and telling everyone I'm on the patch 
Our society views heroine and alcohol overdose as a tragic accident, I call that suicide accomplished...
If a girl from Iceland. .an a guy from cuba have a baby ...is it an ice-cube.... lol.. ;)
I'm glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
Remember when the only hatred that existed here was directed at Nickelback? Good times.
Getting some always leads to wanting more.
I just saw a guy with a hook hand and a ponytail. Dude, you cut off the wrong thing.
A certain "je ne sais quoi" is a terrible thing to have in a French hospital.
I'm a man. I've loved beautiful women. I've beaten other men in fist fights. But when my mama says she's proud of me, I'm 5 years old again.
You'd think the liquor store cashier could at least PRETEND not to recognize me.
Misery loves company. And bars, and drinking, and drugs, and barely consensual rough sex with strangers. Misery has all the fun.
Thank you for the feelings, but I must politely decline.
Apparently going to coffee with your friends and coming back drunk is frown upon by management .
Ask someone if they will watch your bike for you and dont leave. Just stand there and watch your bike with your new friend
Hey douchebag. Women like men with an accent, not an Axe scent
I will take a boring joke here any day over any more Zimmerman p0sts.
I just want to snuggle with you until it's sex.
Funny how the word 'pro' is in progress, and the word 'con' is in congress.
I must say my Facebook experience has been made exponentially better by the larger tool bar at the top, and the notifications icons moved from the left side to the right side of the screen!!
Don’t be afraid of death, be afraid of an unlived life. 