Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Bond. Hydrogen Bond.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:23 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon The older I get the better I used to be.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 06:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If She Sounds Cute On The Phone, Add 20 lbs !!!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 06:51 by EDK Comments (0)  

   messageicon She wanted to be friends with benefits, but I said no because she didn't offer dental.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 18:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know what would make this Pina Colada better? Cancun.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 20:00 by Joser Comments (1)  

   messageicon has come to the conclusion that people who think they are better than anybody else have to think that way because no one else thinks they are...
←Rate | 08-12-2010 16:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Zipper vs. Penis .... Who ya got??
←Rate | 08-19-2010 11:05 by levon Comments (0)  

   messageicon My favorite tactic is reverse .ygolohcysp
←Rate | 08-23-2010 14:37 by Real American Comments (8)  

   messageicon ELECTION DAY UPDATE: I just had some pizza and a soda.
←Rate | 11-02-2010 20:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Could you imagine the conversation between an owl and Mike Jones?!
←Rate | 11-08-2010 19:34 by JimJR Comments (2)  

   messageicon In the past, when you were angry with someone you argued with them. Now you just delete them off Facebook!
←Rate | 11-08-2010 23:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're happy and you know it...share your meds.
←Rate | 11-16-2010 09:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a good thing I have Facebook. Otherwise I'd be doing something dumb right now like being efficient at my job.
←Rate | 11-24-2010 08:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is it that car commercials know which old songs were good but oldies radio stations don't?
←Rate | 11-27-2010 19:26 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon BBC News: Lady Gaga drops Facebook for charity. She should also think about dropping her knickers - for clarity.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 13:15 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls have more guy friends because they cause less drama
←Rate | 12-01-2010 18:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon sitting beside a hot girl that just picked her nose and put it under her seat... She's no longer hot.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 13:27 by Brick Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best revenge is success, or laxatives in cookies. ;)
←Rate | 12-08-2010 14:59 by Heather25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's is time for a Facebook Friend Trust Test...Stand up and fall back and I will catch you. By the way, the Facebook Trust Test will be immediate be followed by the Facebook Moron Test.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Unless life hands you water and sugar.. Your lemonade is gonna suck...
←Rate | 04-19-2010 17:05 by JayPJee Comments (0)  

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