Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says So Taylor Swift is single? Again? Please allow me to express my sincere shock at this sudden and unexpected turn of events.
X says My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
X If aliens were to intercept facebook signals, they'd conclude the only things we have to eat and drink here on Earth is bacon, cats, coffee and vodka.
X The ads where Bing says they're better than Google are so cute. Like when you let a kid think hes playing Xbox but the controllers unplugged.
X is Attorney General Eric Holder will take away all your guns!........ Mexican Drug Cartel ''That;s where I got mine!!!''
X says Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
X I don't have a summer home, but I do have several different email addresses.
X says Just found $4 on the ground. Well, more like $2.40 after my ex wife claims her share
X says I don't understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there's so heavy.
X Toddlers have an uncanny ability to hear & repeat every cuss word you utter but ignore every suggestion on avoiding injury & imminent death.
X says I didn't see a single Olympic wrestler use the sleeper hold or figure four leg lock...
X says Okay, I admit it! I have my chat showing as offline because I don't want to chat with some of you right now.
X is So you're telling me that a house fell on your sister, and the only thing you care about is her shoes?
X would gladly volunteer his services to hang out with Charlie Sheen at the Post-Oscars party.... You know, to keep him on the straight and narrow...
X One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cant say out loud.
X Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I find about 10 of them somewhat tolerable once in a while.
X is You know telling the kids that the Easter bunny is watching just doesn't have the same power as Santa's watching!!!
X says When I was younger, I wanted to be a famous writer like Hemingway. I got the alcoholism down, just not the hunting and suicide part
X I would be unstoppable if I could just get started.
X Props to the radio stations!! I know it must be difficult with the different lengths of songs yet you still manage to sync ur commercials with every other radio station!