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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X is I have learned "Limited Edition" means piece of crap that is going to be replaced with a better version in the near future.
←Rate | 05-07-2011 13:15 Comments (0)

X Fortunatly the end of the world didn't occur today. Sam and Frodo managed to reach Mount Doom and destroy the ring of power. Golemn didn't make it though.
←Rate | 05-21-2011 21:15 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)

X I just had an epifanny. I realized I can't spell epifanny.
←Rate | 10-15-2011 19:59 by K-Mac Comments (0)

X Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
←Rate | 02-25-2011 19:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X says We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
←Rate | 03-11-2011 13:57 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says MEN are like BLUETOOTH. When they are with You, they are connected. When they are not with you, they are searching for other devices to connect to.
←Rate | 07-01-2011 01:59 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)

X is I'm not needy. I'm wanty
←Rate | 08-19-2011 23:18 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says Mom: I found this condom while I was cleaning your room. Are you sexually active? Girl: No. I just lay there.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 14:50 Comments (0)

X says A good way to save face is to keep the lower half shut.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 11:26 Comments (0)

X is I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people
←Rate | 08-05-2010 17:54 Comments (0)

X A North Carolina waitress was fired for complaining on Facebook about a small tip she received. A lesson to all servers who like to post online complaints: write them where they'll never be seen — on MySpace.
←Rate | 06-19-2010 18:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X likes poetry, chocolate cake, and poking dead things with sticks.
←Rate | 11-13-2010 09:01 by ci Comments (0)

X says "America has no greater friend than Great Britain" ~ George Bush
←Rate | 11-24-2010 21:20 by TC Comments (0)

X wondering if there is such a thing called the "WHINE" flu... If so I am pretty sure my kids have it
←Rate | 01-17-2010 02:49 Comments (0)

X February. It's not a leap year, but feel free to take a flying one anyway.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 14:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X thinks that marriage should be like football; you must show up fully committed and prepared and score every opportunity you get!
←Rate | 03-03-2010 02:17 by QueenBee404 Comments (0)

X Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:43 Comments (0)

X There are two things I do at the ATM - deposit and withdraw. I don't even check my balance, because it's on the receipt. So, for the love of God, can someone please tell me what the douche in front of me has been doing for the past 10 minutes???
←Rate | 08-28-2010 07:25 by MBH Comments (0)

X I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use is my liver for "after" photos.
←Rate | 08-30-2010 04:44 by MBH Comments (0)

X There are 70 ways to make a woman happy. 1 is shopping and then do the rest. If you know what I mean.
←Rate | 09-04-2010 07:02 Comments (0)

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