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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
←Rate | 11-05-2010 12:28 by Jerry Comments (1)

X "The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.
←Rate | 11-26-2010 05:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Nobody stops and considers with everyone getting cellphones, Clark Kent will have resort to Port-O-Potties to change into Superman. Not a very heroic image is it!?
←Rate | 12-07-2010 19:16 Comments (0)

X has a new drinking game. Everytime a politician whines and/or blames the other party for something, take a shot.. Because politicains are a bunch of overgrown can-do-no-wrong crybabies with major control issues.. . I htihnk I tis a afgoodo gfame
←Rate | 12-30-2009 15:56 by Yaji Comments (0)

X says I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons
←Rate | 02-02-2010 20:34 Comments (0)

X says Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem
←Rate | 02-02-2010 21:35 Comments (0)

X is Happy run out and spend money you don't have on things you wouldn't otherwise buy to prove you love someone who if they need things bought for them to prove you love them probably shows they don't truly love you anyway day!
←Rate | 02-14-2010 14:15 Comments (0)

X says If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 09:53 by Mduduzi Comments (0)

X Remembers how much better nostalgia used to be.
←Rate | 04-02-2010 21:28 Comments (0)

X THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously it's not rocket science.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 18:45 by MBH Comments (8)

X fears Hurricane Earl, but only because it sounds like the prison nickname of a man wearing overalls who beat someone to death with a banjo.
←Rate | 09-02-2010 11:36 by CS Comments (0)

X I thought they put covers on books SO I could judge them.
←Rate | 09-19-2010 22:09 Comments (0)

X X Did you Just say somthing, or did your brain fart..
←Rate | 09-23-2010 06:30 by Wolf Comments (0)

X Some people should "dance like no one's looking" where I can't see them.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 03:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X When outdoors use the buddy system... if a wild animal approaches push your buddy toward it and run like hell
←Rate | 09-28-2010 23:46 Comments (0)

X It's only cheating if you get caught. Well, if you never get caught, you're stuck in two meaningless relationships.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 09:55 Comments (0)

X The postage is outrageous on these mail order brides!
←Rate | 10-03-2010 17:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X is says the people I work with are making me crazy, I think there should be some kind of test for babies in the delivery room. If the test shows they're going to grow up stupid they should be neutered immediately.
←Rate | 10-04-2010 07:53 Comments (0)

X Well today was a total waste of makeup.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 13:17 by Trevalina Comments (1)

X says Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary.
←Rate | 11-15-2009 19:38 Comments (0)

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