Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X The ski racks on my car say I'm fun, adventurous, and can't figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
X is Now I lay me down to sleep... one less terrorist this world does keep... with all my heart I give my thanks... to those in uniform regardless of ranks... you serve our country and serve it well... with humble hearts your stories tell... so as I rest my we
X thinks snowfall should be measured in school and business cancelations.
X My wife and I are doing the same thing for Valentine's Day that we do every year: Laughing at all the people who spend too much money!
X You don't want to look back on your life and say, "I just made it through."
X Dont wear white shorts and a blue thong and get mad when our eyes lock...thats like sitting at a bar and getting mad when the bartender asks if you want a drink
X is Learning from water. "Adjust yourself in every situation & in any shape", But Most importantly always find out your "own way to flow..."
X says The Less people you deal with, the less problems you will have.
X says Remember before facebook when thoughts stayed in people’s heads?
X says it possible to love the one you're with but not be able to stand the sound of their breathing? Asking for a friend
X says When it comes to a recipe for a disaster, some people thrive on being the main ingredient.
X says Alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra and many other problems !!!
X says The French have announced they've sent a peace keeping force to Ukraine. They've managed to secure the city of Chernobyl without any resistance.
X says Researchers in Hawaii recently put webcams on the fins of sharks so they could get a firsthand view of what the sharks see. The first thing they saw: a shark eating the guy who strapped a webcam on its fin.
X says Okay, coffee's kicked in. What were you saying? Oh, sorry. Let me get that duct tape off your mouth.
X says I wear my heart on my sleeve and my lunch on the entire front part.
X says I’m offering a cyber bullying self-defense course at the YMCA where we aggressively close browser windows and switch computers off.
X says I meant every drunken word... Whatever they were.
X says One thing TV has taught me-35% of all hospital deaths are caused by the attending physician failing to yell "Don't you die on me!" at the right moment.
X says The best thing about marriage is how wives always like to joke about making sure the life insurance premiums are paid up... lol!