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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously it's not rocket science.
←Rate | 09-01-2010 18:45 by MBH Comments (8)

X fears Hurricane Earl, but only because it sounds like the prison nickname of a man wearing overalls who beat someone to death with a banjo.
←Rate | 09-02-2010 11:36 by CS Comments (0)

X I thought they put covers on books SO I could judge them.
←Rate | 09-19-2010 22:09 Comments (0)

X X Did you Just say somthing, or did your brain fart..
←Rate | 09-23-2010 06:30 by Wolf Comments (0)

X Some people should "dance like no one's looking" where I can't see them.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 03:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X When outdoors use the buddy system... if a wild animal approaches push your buddy toward it and run like hell
←Rate | 09-28-2010 23:46 Comments (0)

X It's only cheating if you get caught. Well, if you never get caught, you're stuck in two meaningless relationships.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 09:55 Comments (0)

X The postage is outrageous on these mail order brides!
←Rate | 10-03-2010 17:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X is says the people I work with are making me crazy, I think there should be some kind of test for babies in the delivery room. If the test shows they're going to grow up stupid they should be neutered immediately.
←Rate | 10-04-2010 07:53 Comments (0)

X Well today was a total waste of makeup.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 13:17 by Trevalina Comments (1)

X It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 12:12 by Erica Jane Comments (0)

X You can make the same drive 100's of times but a good dense fog makes it feel like a totally new experience.
←Rate | 04-23-2010 08:28 by Leeferd Comments (0)

X says a little less conversation, a little more action please!!
←Rate | 04-24-2010 03:51 Comments (0)

X is trying to give me the finger is like giving a spider the web. I'm just gonna spin it and use it to my advantage =)
←Rate | 04-27-2010 20:34 by drew Comments (3)

X What? That's not what "do the robot" means? It's a dance? Oh god. I am SO sorry about your robot.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 18:50 by Joser Comments (0)

X The Old Lie: "The check is in the mail." The New Lie: "I haven't checked my email."
←Rate | 05-08-2010 12:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 06:14 by naishadh86 Comments (0)

X has just admitted himself into the hokey pokey institute...I figure it a way to turn my life around.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 08:13 Comments (0)

X Thinks that if I was a zookeeper, I wouldn't even bother putting anything in the chameleon exhibit.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 18:39 by Joser Comments (0)

X has a new drinking game. Everytime a politician whines and/or blames the other party for something, take a shot.. Because politicains are a bunch of overgrown can-do-no-wrong crybabies with major control issues.. . I htihnk I tis a afgoodo gfame
←Rate | 12-30-2009 15:56 by Yaji Comments (0)

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