Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X is ...says there's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away...
X says Being called beautiful is miles better than hot or sexy..
X says When I was younger I would make funny faces in the mirror. Now that I'm older the mirror is getting even! I hate that mirror!!!
X I don't care what the law say, if you poke me and you're not my friend, it's rape.
X is Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes close
X My wife gave me an apple to eat for breakfast. So, this is what Adam felt like.
X I don't care what happens when FATHER catches DAUGHTER on her WEBCAM! Stop posting that darn link to my wall!!
X says The YMCA has officially shortened it's name to "The Y". You know times are tough when letters are even getting laid off.
X Turns out, when the officer asks why you're not wearing a seatbelt, pretending to have T-Rex arms is only hilarious to you.
X [This comment has been removed due to explicit sexual content]
X I don't like how Facebook asks "What's on your mind?" I usually just lie and live with the guilt.
X ...easy there, don't cry, it's OK. Everyone makes mistakes...take your parents for example
X I hate it when you go to bed and you finally convince yourself that the spot on the wall is just a piece of dirt or something, and then it totally starts crawling towards you!
X Dear Children, When you look in your closet, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster.
X is It's not officially summer until you start forgetting what day of the week it is.
X is I can't believe someone actually went through all the trouble to create a fake Facebook profile, complete with fake photos, fake friends and fake status updates just so they could befriend and stalk me. I don't know whether to feel honored or terrifie
X Nothing says your celebrating the birth of our Nation, like the smell of Gunpowder and Beer..
X is I need some time alone....Gonna go sign in to Myspace
X is If the government fails to raise the debt ceiling and stops paying their bills, I will stop paying mine, fair is fair
X is having a mental margarita. It was delivered by a shirtless cabana boy.