Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says The YMCA has officially shortened it's name to "The Y". You know times are tough when letters are even getting laid off.
X Turns out, when the officer asks why you're not wearing a seatbelt, pretending to have T-Rex arms is only hilarious to you.
X [This comment has been removed due to explicit sexual content]
X says When I was younger I would make funny faces in the mirror. Now that I'm older the mirror is getting even! I hate that mirror!!!
X I don't care what the law say, if you poke me and you're not my friend, it's rape.
X is Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes close
X Dear Children, When you look in your closet, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster.
X is It's not officially summer until you start forgetting what day of the week it is.
X is I can't believe someone actually went through all the trouble to create a fake Facebook profile, complete with fake photos, fake friends and fake status updates just so they could befriend and stalk me. I don't know whether to feel honored or terrifie
X Nothing says your celebrating the birth of our Nation, like the smell of Gunpowder and Beer..
X is I need some time alone....Gonna go sign in to Myspace
X is If the government fails to raise the debt ceiling and stops paying their bills, I will stop paying mine, fair is fair
X is having a mental margarita. It was delivered by a shirtless cabana boy.
X I sleep better naked... why can't the flight attendant understand this?
X is Did you know…As a farmer, George Washington grew marijuana on his farm at Mount Vernon and promoted it's growth. (In the 1790s, the crop was grown mainly for its industrial value as hemp and for soil stabilization.) Anyway, Happy Presidents' Day!
X says The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.
X Silence is a girl's loudest cry. You can always tell she's really hurt when she starts ignoring you.
X "I'm wrong, your Right, I'm sorry, it'll never happen again"..... Easiest way to solve an argument with the wife
X My girlfriend said, "I don't know if six inches is gonna be enough for me." Thank God we were at Subway when she said it!
X says come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I heard a car alarm go off for a legit reason