Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
X "The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.
X Nobody stops and considers with everyone getting cellphones, Clark Kent will have resort to Port-O-Potties to change into Superman. Not a very heroic image is it!?
X has a new drinking game. Everytime a politician whines and/or blames the other party for something, take a shot.. Because politicains are a bunch of overgrown can-do-no-wrong crybabies with major control issues.. . I htihnk I tis a afgoodo gfame
X says I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons
X says Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem
X is Happy run out and spend money you don't have on things you wouldn't otherwise buy to prove you love someone who if they need things bought for them to prove you love them probably shows they don't truly love you anyway day!
X says If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
X Remembers how much better nostalgia used to be.
X THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously it's not rocket science.
X fears Hurricane Earl, but only because it sounds like the prison nickname of a man wearing overalls who beat someone to death with a banjo.
X I thought they put covers on books SO I could judge them.
X X Did you Just say somthing, or did your brain fart..
X Some people should "dance like no one's looking" where I can't see them.
X When outdoors use the buddy system... if a wild animal approaches push your buddy toward it and run like hell
X It's only cheating if you get caught. Well, if you never get caught, you're stuck in two meaningless relationships.
X The postage is outrageous on these mail order brides!
X is says the people I work with are making me crazy, I think there should be some kind of test for babies in the delivery room. If the test shows they're going to grow up stupid they should be neutered immediately.
X Well today was a total waste of makeup.
X says Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary.