Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.
X The FBI warnings before movies on DVD still refer to videotapes. So basically, even the people who are paid to make sure this is on every DVD, don't read it either
X says I'd take your message of social upheaval much more seriously if your "Anarchy" patch hadn't been purchased at Hot Topic.
X Ugh....... I can never decide which color of shower puff is the most gangster.
X I bought a used UPS truck. It gets poor gas mileage but I can double park anywhere.
X says Why aren't you women happy like the ones in the tampon commercial?
X says Whenever I drive past the psychic's empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
X says I have reached that point of my day where no more productivity is possible...
X is George Jefferson is dead!........''Moving on up to that apt. in the sky!!!'' R.I.P.
X says I've been asking God to send me my soulmate. Either he's not listening or we've got very different ideas on how she should look.
X says I've regretted being nice way more times than I've regretted being a douchebag.
X says This Ramen tastes like unemployment
X says Be a deer and stand in the middle of the road for me, would you?
X says Lots of woman stay in relationships just to have somebody around to kill spiders and open jars.
X You really inspire me to be a bitter person.
X says When a woman says "the girls" I automatically assume she is talking about her boobs, not her actual friends.
X says I don't mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they'd use the part behind me.
X This is the worst self help forum I have ever read.
X I'm pleased to say that I just used some germ-X and got rid of 99.9% of germs on both my hands and probably got them back while typing this
X says October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.