Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Beepers and pay phones were so much easier.....
←Rate | 06-29-2012 22:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon One women's "oh hell no that's gross" is another women's "oh please do that again".
←Rate | 06-30-2012 09:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Facebook persona did not sleep well last night.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 23:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't think I'm better than you. I never think about you.
←Rate | 07-02-2012 05:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey girl with 40,000 tweets and 14 followers, I'm guessing you should probably shut the f$ck up.
←Rate | 07-03-2012 21:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon We need more propeller hats
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're getting older when you would rather ignore someone, so you don't have to go through the trouble of disposing their body...
←Rate | 07-06-2012 00:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A picnic is a great way to see what all the foods you love would taste like if you added ants.
←Rate | 07-07-2012 18:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  

   messageicon I relate to your inability to relate to people. Let's talk about hanging out but never follow through.
←Rate | 07-09-2012 09:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey, DirecTV? that Viacom is being asses, can we have G4 back? Sincerely, 90% of your customers who DON'T care about the so called MTV showing 16 & Pregnant
←Rate | 07-11-2012 02:54 by @DJShocker69 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wal*Mart now offers psychiatric treatment. I got out of there quick. I used the 10 issues or less line.
←Rate | 07-11-2012 07:24 by Thumbelino Comments (0)  

   messageicon .... After eight years ... At least with a new President Comedians will finally be allowed to joke about the president once again.
←Rate | 11-13-2016 13:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Generation Butt Hurt...where everyone is offended by everything.
←Rate | 03-09-2017 09:31 Comments (3)  

   messageicon Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
←Rate | 06-21-2016 04:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
←Rate | 07-05-2016 01:38 Comments (1)  

   messageicon when more people get silent electric cars pokemon go becomes a different game!
←Rate | 08-02-2016 11:32 Comments (1)  

   messageicon it possible to start the impeachment process before anyone even wins the election?
←Rate | 09-15-2016 11:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Daytona 500 is today. In related news, I'll be watching mold grow on some bread.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 13:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don’t know how to turn on the dish washer. I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 11:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why I have NEVER seen a pregnant Asian?? Where's all the Most Fruitful Yuki's hidin anyway??
←Rate | 06-07-2011 21:12 by Trish Comments (0)  

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