Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X is I have learned "Limited Edition" means piece of crap that is going to be replaced with a better version in the near future.
X Fortunatly the end of the world didn't occur today. Sam and Frodo managed to reach Mount Doom and destroy the ring of power. Golemn didn't make it though.
X I just had an epifanny. I realized I can't spell epifanny.
X Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
X says We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
X says MEN are like BLUETOOTH. When they are with You, they are connected. When they are not with you, they are searching for other devices to connect to.
X is I'm not needy. I'm wanty
X says Mom: I found this condom while I was cleaning your room. Are you sexually active? Girl: No. I just lay there.
X says A good way to save face is to keep the lower half shut.
X is I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people
X A North Carolina waitress was fired for complaining on Facebook about a small tip she received. A lesson to all servers who like to post online complaints: write them where they'll never be seen — on MySpace.
X likes poetry, chocolate cake, and poking dead things with sticks.
X says "America has no greater friend than Great Britain" ~ George Bush
X wondering if there is such a thing called the "WHINE" flu... If so I am pretty sure my kids have it
X February. It's not a leap year, but feel free to take a flying one anyway.
X thinks that marriage should be like football; you must show up fully committed and prepared and score every opportunity you get!
X Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
X There are two things I do at the ATM - deposit and withdraw. I don't even check my balance, because it's on the receipt. So, for the love of God, can someone please tell me what the douche in front of me has been doing for the past 10 minutes???
X I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use is my liver for "after" photos.
X There are 70 ways to make a woman happy. 1 is shopping and then do the rest. If you know what I mean.