Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X is Spongebob is Definetly Asian! he's Yellow! he knows Karate and he cant drive.
X I'm no relationship scientist but I think men prefer girls who make their dck hard, not their life.
X is My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes...
X says When my wife is sleeping I open her handbag, take out my balls, pat them & whisper "I know guys I miss you too" then put them back quietly.
X You looked good until your 30 day trial of Adobe Photoshop expired
X is Banana peel. Coffee grains. Pizza crust. Beer bottles. Empty cans. Paper plates. Bill envelopes. Don't mind me everyone. I'm just talking trash...
X is The blue whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10 percent enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?
X Way to go Ferguson...Burning down the same grocery stores where you use your foodstamps to shop. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Real justice losers!. Real justice
X Manning Brady Manning Brady Manning Brady Manning Brady Manning Brady Manning Brady There, now you don't need to watch ESPN this week.
X says On a scale of 1 to Rihanna, how big is your forehead?
X I can't stand people who blame everyone else for their problems. I'd be successful and happy by now if it wasn't for them.
X says I really hate it when someone calls my PHONE and says who is this, this is my phone, who are you?
X is went to a shrink today. she says I have a split personality. Charged me 84.00. I paid her 42.00 and told her to get the rest from the other b*tch!
X is What gets longer when pulled, fits between a women's boobs, inserts neatly in a hole and works best when jerked hard?...A SEAT BELT
X is Ever heard yourself sing in the shower and wondered why the f$#! you havent released an album yet??..
X is It's funny how people start paying attention to you when start giving them the silence treatment.
X If Gillette made toilet paper, we'd be up to 4 or 5 plys by now.
X I tripped over a bra last night, do you think it was a boobie trap?
X is Sometimes, we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.
X says Twilight did to vampires what Brokeback Mountain did to cowboys.