life Funny Status Messages

   Yes, you can lead a horse to water but you can also bring the water to him. Maybe do something nice for someone else for once in your life... geesh

   My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.

   Everything in life is temporary , if things are going good , enjoy it , if things are going bad , don't worry , it won't last forever either .... !!

   The best way to live a miserable life is to pay attention to what other people are saying about you.

   Her: where have you been my whole life? Me: chillin on my couch

   Just because you don't approve of the way I live my life, it does not make me wrong, it only makes you judgemental.

   Dear Tom Cruise: Life is what you make of it. Not what you make believe of it

   You've only got three choices in life: Give up, give in, or give it all you've got.

   I just noticed that I walked around all morning with a ball point pen in my shirt pocket WITHOUT the cap on...think I finally earned the right for my 'Thug Life' tattoo...

   Time flies when you're having fun, so the more you enjoy life the quicker you'll be dead.

   Life would be better if squirrels liked sitting on our shoulders. You can’t be sad with a cool squirrel friend on your shoulder.

   Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!

   Life is tough; it's even tougher when you're stupid.~~John Wayne

   The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, sleep and dream.

   FB isnt the place to tell everyone your life blows..... everyone knows it the place where you pretend your life is awesome!

   Laughing for 15 seconds adds 2 days to your life span. Therefore, I am immortal.

   My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I'm Just Napping

   I'm a pair of skinny jeans short of a mid life crisis

   Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna damn suck.

   As I lie here on my hungover bed of death, I shall re-evaluate my life and consider sobriety ...Tomorrow: repeat