love Funny Status Messages

   Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn't."

   Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."

   I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I'm basically a golden retriever.

   Women say they love a man in uniform but when I go clubbing in my McDonalds outfit none of them will even talk to me.

   Did you know, if on a full moon if you light a candle and say the name of someone you love 3 times, you'll look stupid doing that?

   Kissing a girl on her forehead is care, on her cheek is respect, on her lips is love, but kissing her in front of her boyfriend is GUTS

   My mom thinks LOL stands for "Lots Of Love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL"

   If love is a game..where can I buy the multiplayer-version?

   I just love waking up in the middle of the night to realize I still have time to sleep before work

   You've been dating for 2 days - you don't love each other.... Shutup!

   I love you yet I hate you,its like I want to throw you off a cliff then run really fast to the bottom to catch you ..

   What is love? I don't even want an answer. I'm just ecstatic knowing that at least 90% of you thought "Baby, don't hurt me."

   Ya know those signs you see in towns that say, "Drive careful, we love our children?" Well DUH, you're not gonna see a sign that says, "GUN IT, WE'LL MAKE MORE!"

   NOTE TO SELF: Please stop writing yourself notes. Love, Self

   Oh, you love your boyfriend? Please, go ahead and saturate my Facebook news feed with your feelings.

   When a girl is in love, she offers sex. when a guy wants sex, he offers love.

   Sometimes love is like having one too many drinks....you feel so good that you don't notice you're making a fool of yourself.

   Go to the train station and make eye contact with someone as the train pulls away and then chase after it it while yelling "I LOVE YOU!"

   I won employee of the month!!!.... again! I love being self employed.

   I don't know why people say something is better if you work for it. Personally, I love being handed awesome sh*t through no effort of my own.