love Funny Status Messages

   I fell in love today. So what have you guys done to ruin your day?

   The best part of Valentine"s day is no more Vermont teddy bear BIG HUNKA LOVE BEAR commercials.

   The public is jealous and takes pleasure in destroying good relationships. So what the public doesn't know exist, the public can't destroy. So lets keep our love a secret baby and let it live.

   I love making pasta when I have a ton of dirty dishes in the sink. just dump that hot water in there when you’re done, and bam! you’ve got dinner and a set of totally clean dishes!

   Coming out can be hard as people don't understand our way of life and can be very close minded, but I feel in this day and age I can no longer be afraid to say I love Disco!

   We have so much in common. You love to travel and I want you to go

   Hold still, I'm trying to make you fall in love with me.

   Make sure you love each other for your pleasant personalities coz when the looks are gone its what you will have to live with for the rest of your lives.

   If you love something let it go, and if its doing better than you, try and ruin its life.

   I feel sorry for people that haven't found their true love. My ex is on her 5th.

   Love yourself. But, not in public. That's illegal.

   I used to dream of that fairytale kind of love. Now I'll settle for someone who'll gain weight faster than me.

   Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Terminator is a drapery salesman in the new movie. His new catchphrase? “I’ll be back....with some swatches I think you’re just going to LOVE.”

   I love it when I go see my parents for the first time in a while and after "hello" comes "good thing you came, my printer is broken".

   Constipation is like teenage love: can't sleep, can't eat, and it hurts when it leaves you.

   Love the share your memories. Hey, I deleted that stupid f#cking comment of yours from four years ago. Do you have a guilty conscience.. lol. . .

   Gotta love a woman who can hand you your own ass.....

   I'd love to have a deep meaningful discussion with my daughter but I'm not that good at emojis.

   If by baby you mean dog, then yes I'd love to see pictures of your baby!

   Love games although I hate scrabble, I hate scrabble so much I can't put it into words. Hate is a strong word... hated is stronger... worth more points.