love Funny Status Messages

   I LOVE beating women... ...to the door so I can hold it open for them

   As you Mature, you learn that you cannot make someone love you!.....All you can do is Stalk them and hope they panic and give in!!!

   Dance like the photo isn't being tagged, love like you've never been unfriended, and tweet like nobody is following....

   Love my new job. It's at a work free drug place.

   I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and some I'd love to punch in the face!

   When love is not madness... it is not love.

   Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them...

   I would love to hear more music that is not about sex or even love, because there is other stuff in life.

   From now I'm going to on Craigslist to try finding love. Or at least a free mattress with questionable stains to cry myself to sleep on.

   I just love gambling here in Vegas. Sure, I may lose $100,000 but the drinks are free so it evens out

   If people fall in love with you too late, don't accept that love; Its after effects are annoying. It means there are some hidden problems with you or with that person.

   Why is it always the ugly people who have to post pics of themselves every other day? You might love the camera but it’s obvious the camera does not love you back. So put the camera down and stop scaring little children with your pics.

   Eventually you'll be separated from everyone you love by distance, argument, divorce or death. Make sure you know how to stand on your own.

   thinking I should write a book about living with A.D.D., because I love home renovation. #squirrel 

   And then one day she realized she could never love a man who could name more than 2 Kardashians.

   The best reply to "I love you" is "Well that's a terrible idea."

   Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my womans hair. It's a nice way to let her know my love,, and also that we're out of napkin

   I noticed the car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." So I honked at him and waved. He then decided to give me the "bird."

   Marriage: because if you love them why not get the law involved

   I do not look at porn online. I watch online videos where people are so happy to see each other they make love naked.