Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Elon Musk is sending his 76 year old mom on a PR tour to beg sympathy for her lil' billionaire N*zi boy aaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

   They said they voted him in "for the economy," then he ERASED 4.4 TRILLION of stock market value in 2 months. No wonder he loves the poorly educated. 😂

   Please punch in your account number, phone number and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again

   F News has removed Stock Market numbers from their ticker. I wonder why?

   The sleepy, old guy saw nine straight quarters of record stock gains and job growth. The smartest businessman in the world fvcked it all up in eight weeks.

   The tariffs don’t really affect me, as I spend most of my days at the park throwing wood chips at people

   I’m looking for someone to brush their teeth with me every morning. My dentist says brushing alone won’t prevent cavities.

   For $100 I’ll come over and pretend I’m a Jehovah’s Witness, when you have unwanted company at your house.

   i like my men like I like my coffee. not that hot but still making me anxious

   Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one.

   The reality is that F○x News has completely removed their live stocks ticker because the market is completely disintegrating and they're embarrassed, you uneducated dingbat 😂

   Are you just mad because kids in Texas are now getting admitted to hospital in droves from Vitamin A poisoning thanks to that RFK quack? Oh come on. Where's your sense of humor? We think it's f*cking hilarious 🤣

   My grandmother once told me, "Sometimes you have to hug the people you don't like. That way you'll know how big to dig the hole in the back yard".

   We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today. We removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change.

   Cadet Bone Spurs who dodged the draft FIVE TIMES and refused to serve our country, has not earned a military parade for his birthday. This isn't North Korea. The $92 million should go to our Veterans.

   I think the salesman at Bob's Discount Furniture misunderstood when I told him I wanted one nightstand.

   But... Crazy people have more fun.

   Not sure what to make of this. I was in Krispy Kreme and some man asked if he could dunk his glazed jelly stick in my hot, steamy coffee cup.

   there a sale on stupidity, cause that shi* is everywhere.

   I’ve been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she “can’t survive on dry land.”