Darkharbinger Funny Status Messages
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The Log Cabin Syrup logo is offensive to trees
Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to fly a helicopter.
price doesn't always equal quality. A 50 dollar hooker works harder than 250 dollar hooker.
'We've all bet on a fart and lost' is the best example of the Human condition I ever heard
How come when someone is missing the media makes them out to be a saint? Why not just say 'yeah their a jerk but lets find them anyway?'
The Wicked Witch of the West said it best: What a world, what a world
You know, while we’re at it, don’t look directly at me today either.
I may not know much, but I know mayo doesn't go on a taco.
I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.
Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.
President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.
never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet
Today is 2/366. This is a leap year, which means the earth gave you an extra day to make things how you want.
Saving daylight? Who am I, Superman?
Knowledge is knowing that hot peppers are a fruit; wisdom is putting them in a fruit salad.
Them: What kind of person are you? Me: I'm a place or thing, thank you.
I asked to 2024's manager today, it was 2021
No New Year, No Groundhog, No Valintine, and now no New President. Holidays suck anymore.
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