Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6220 of 6371
Talk about global warming..I just saw a Tiger on the Appalachian trail
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12-19-2009 08:33 by Mr. Craig
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was surprised to find a Christmas present from last year while getting the decorations out. The kids were all excited as I opened the box. What a pity it was a dead puppy
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12-19-2009 08:17 by deithy
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A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
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12-19-2009 04:43
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If it wasn't for my random sputterings insane ramblings and wild hallucinations I'd be as normal as you.
never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version.?
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12-19-2009 00:25 by Snypa
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's age is very inconsistent, I wouldn't be surprised if it changed again next year.
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12-19-2009 00:24 by Snypa
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Did you hear that the new and politically correct name for 'lesbian'. It has been changed to 'vagitarian'.
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12-18-2009 22:45
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thinks Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
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12-18-2009 22:43 by mullerman
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My phone says it's nippy out. I don't know why it says that but it seems to be true...
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12-18-2009 22:11 by joe fool
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I plan to only eat aberdeen angus beef for every meal in January. aberdeen angus beef that has been slain by my hands. my BARE hands!
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12-18-2009 22:01 by joe fool
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I never thought I would live to see the day that someone made a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group...
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12-18-2009 21:45 by joe fool
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People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.
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12-18-2009 21:35 by joe fool
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you have the voice of angel, you sound like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
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12-18-2009 17:58
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As of today, Facebook staff will be allowed to eat your children and pets. To turn this option off, go to Settings > Privacy > Meals. Click the top button to not feed the employees of Facebook anything. Copy this to your status to warn your friends.
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12-18-2009 17:51
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Electricians even know that there are "male" connectors and "female" connectors on wiring and such. You can try plugging "male" to "male" or "female" to "female", but it's a ludicrous effort.
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12-18-2009 15:11
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doesn't matter... golf is still boring.
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12-18-2009 13:59
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thinks the armed forces needs to enlist ninjas..who's ever looking for a ninja?
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12-18-2009 10:52 by Yaj
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sorry 2009 but I'm going to have to file a restraining order on you. You're going to have to stay at least 365 days away from me. You caused to many problems.
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12-18-2009 09:22 by Danmanz
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wonders if Cash4Gold would give me money for a bottle of Goldschlager!
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12-18-2009 09:06 by Lionel
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What's hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the middle, that starts with a C and ends in a T? A coconut silly.
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12-18-2009 09:05
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