Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5981 of 6370
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
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04-23-2010 19:03 by Joser
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If crime doesn't pay... Does that mean my job is a crime?
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04-23-2010 19:03 by Joser
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Dear Wendy's, I so love your delicious, frozen treat called the Frosty. May I make a suggestion? Instead of a plastic straw, could you please substitute this with a bamboo straw? I'm tired of the plastic straws collapsing on me.
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04-23-2010 17:52 by Leeferd
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so turns out you CAN use lemon juice to get goats blood off of the curtains
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04-23-2010 16:51 by paulb808
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cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
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04-23-2010 16:39 by Tim
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"Do I look like a bag, a gadget or a perfume to you?" Stop tagging me if the photo doesn't have my face or my torso or my knee or my... you got what I'm saying
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04-23-2010 16:18 by Spanky
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stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
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04-23-2010 16:09 by abel254
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needs 18 more Farmers Daughters.....but not in Farmville
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04-23-2010 16:05
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, "The car behind me is paying for two."
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04-23-2010 15:32 by Aaron
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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04-23-2010 15:30 by Aaron
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I think I'll skip English tomorrow. There are just certain aspects of Moby I don't want to know about.
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04-23-2010 15:28 by Aaron
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I couldn't reach my oil filter... so I took out the entire engine.
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04-23-2010 15:23 by Aaron
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Playboy made a mistake passing on Kate Gosselin as a centerfold. I believe America desires to see a uterus that could be used as a three car garage.
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04-23-2010 15:04
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I just heard Justin Bieber for the first time and she sounds like a very nice little girl so stop being mean to her!
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04-23-2010 15:04
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Lady Gaga preaching abstinence is like Lindsay Lohan preaching sobriety or Kermit the Frog preaching about your finger not smelling like pork.
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04-23-2010 15:03
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What do you call a black man flyin a plane???? A pilot you RACI$T !!!!
virginity is like a baloon... one prick and it's gone forever.....
Ronald McDonald just killed Burger King in front of Dairy Queen over that B*t*h Wendy
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04-23-2010 14:14 by one
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You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
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04-23-2010 14:07 by k
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I heard Jesse James honored Earth Day yesterday by picking up trash...
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04-23-2010 13:52
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