Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5971 of 6371
-- Liking your own facebook status is like a bloke congratulating his hand after a w**k!
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04-28-2010 07:39 by Y.P
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Wishes you the best of luck in life!! Everyone else already knows your screwed!!
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04-28-2010 07:32 by SUPERMAN
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Was at a pet store when a gerbil went "WOOF", then I noticed a gay guy behind me!!
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04-28-2010 07:31 by SUPERMAN
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Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big t*tties!!
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04-28-2010 07:23 by SUPERMAN
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It is not pre marital sex if you have no intention of getting married
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04-28-2010 04:29
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wish every relationship i've been in had a 30 day money back guarantee!
Why did the chicken cross the roa... *thump*thump* Nevermind.
Greeting cards are for people who mean every word someone else said.
The word of the day is LEGS..... Ladies please spread the word.
Don't be afraid of rejection..It hurts, but you won't die from it.!!!
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04-28-2010 01:15
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Amy Winehouse has completed re-hab and claims she is clean & sober. She also wants to be known as Amy Grapehouse.
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04-28-2010 01:09 by ellie
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whats the main difference between a vacuum cleaner and a harley davidson? The position of the dirtbag
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04-28-2010 00:53 by Breno
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An error has occured: User performed an illegal operation when they got out of bed. Return user to bed to continue.
says you look like... I need another drink
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04-27-2010 23:52
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When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead
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04-27-2010 23:51
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ever realize how similar Porsches are to porcupines? Except the porcupine has pricks on the outside....
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04-27-2010 23:18 by samdave69
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the first to the fridge, the first to the couch, and most importantly the first to the remote. What it is to be a true champion......
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04-27-2010 23:18
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Time flies when you press snooze
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04-27-2010 22:55
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Only in a god-fearing state like Arizona, can you get pulled over, detained, and fined if your name is Jesus
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04-27-2010 22:35 by Van
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Does anyone else think that all illegal immigrants should be given a Toyota to drive back across the border?? ;)
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04-27-2010 22:13
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