Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5914 of 6369
wish life was a bed of roses!!! I would do nothing but sleep all day!!!
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05-18-2010 15:27
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boy you couldnt pour piss out of a boot if the instructions was on the heel!!!
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05-18-2010 15:24 by Riley
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Then you aint to proud to clean up some oil are you? o btw I hope you choke on a crumpet
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05-18-2010 15:16 by Riley
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says the last argument was his fault. She asked what was on the TV, he replied "dust".
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05-18-2010 13:14 by Little Ze
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Last night I said to the wife let's get rated R. So I pulled down my pants and she cussed and punched me in the face.
every time Sarah Palin speaks, a moose dies...
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05-18-2010 12:31 by Joser
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Don't worry... I'm a doctor on the Internet.
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05-18-2010 12:30 by Joser
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Hey lady in the other car, eating and talking on your cell phone. It's called a Ford Focus, not a Ford Multi-task.
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05-18-2010 12:30 by Joser
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If I had nothing left to complain about, I'd complain about that.
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05-18-2010 12:29 by Joser
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So I guess the movie 'Armageddon' shows that oil workers are better at destroying asteroids than stopping oil leaks
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05-18-2010 11:57 by jdpower
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Times Like These Were made for Nudity.
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05-18-2010 11:03
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5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
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05-18-2010 10:53 by Mduduzi
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When are the makers of Captain Crunch going to get honest and rename it Tasty Jagged Mouth Gravel...painful but tasty...
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05-18-2010 10:10
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getting ready for May 21st (this Friday) which is Talk Like Yoda Day...practicing we should be, hmm?
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05-18-2010 10:04 by markf
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I had a hard time believing a movie called Furry Vegeance was a family movie...I thought it was a movie about a woman scorned.....boy was I wrong!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that there are so many ugly women who walk around like they're all that or the fact that none of them are desperate enough to talk to me.
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05-18-2010 09:16
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My age? I'd rather not tell. Let's just say i'm somewhere between 25 and a Wal-Mart greeter.
spending time entertaining facebookians by writing funny status's instead of doing work
hey Justin Bieber, remember Hanson?
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05-18-2010 06:48
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It's always nice to have a baker's dozen of something, unless it's like stab wounds or something.
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05-18-2010 05:56 by Leeferd
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