Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5889 of 6370
Saying "Let me call you back" is just a nicer or rather messed up way for a woman to say she doesn't wanna talk to you.
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05-28-2010 22:30 by Danmanz
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WHAT?!?! Gary Coleman is dead?! What'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!?!?!
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05-28-2010 19:58
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Breaking News: Utah police are seeking the Gooch in connection with the death of Arnold Jackson. Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at (800)-555-TIPS all calls are strictly confidential.
Why does a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer? A Prostitute can clean her crack and sell it again!
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05-28-2010 19:40 by Pacumbo
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A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and asks, ‘You wanna play 'magic'?' She responds, ‘What's that?' He says, ‘Well we go back to my place and screw, and then you disappear!'
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05-28-2010 19:10 by Pacumbo
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Just Saw A Bumper Sticker That Said... "My High School Dropout, Knocked Up Your Honor Roll Student..."
What a tortured soul... He never really figured out what Willis was talking about....
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05-28-2010 15:49 by geez
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What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? Oral sex makes your day; anal sex makes your hole weak.
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05-28-2010 15:34 by Pacumbo
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While the women were attending the "Sex and the City 2" premiere... the men were enjoying "Sex outside the City Too"...
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05-28-2010 15:31 by Niltonzio
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Dear Karma:U haven't been comin' round lately... I understand if u're too busy but I heard you keep missin' the person i've been talkin' bout... WHY?
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05-28-2010 15:00
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Confucius says "Boy who goes to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand."
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05-28-2010 14:54
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I just said hey to Sarah Jessica Parker and she got really excited. She must have thought I meant hay.
The meek may inherit the earth, but the shrewd will collect the rent.
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05-28-2010 14:18
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My wife and I always get into arguments, and I always get the last word.. "Yes Dear!!"
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05-28-2010 13:57
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suggests that you do the following: go to google, type "google wont" and then click "I'm feeling lucky"
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05-28-2010 13:20
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without freedom of speech we would never know who the a$$holes are
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05-28-2010 12:57 by paulb808
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Q: How do you make four old ladies say ‘FUCK!'? A: Get a fifth one to yell ‘BINGO!'
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05-28-2010 11:51 by Pacumbo
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The fact "gorilla" does not rhyme with "tortilla" infuriates me.
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05-28-2010 11:50 by Joser
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
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05-28-2010 11:49 by Joser
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These are my Hammer pants; you can't touch them.
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05-28-2010 11:48 by Joser
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