Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5789 of 6370
my dog is the best at playing dead....he's been doing it for six weeks. he's good.
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07-08-2010 17:34 by derek
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says I will reveal a new status update tonight @ 9pm (CST)....... Sorry Lebron James for taking the spotlight from your announcement at the same time on ESPN....
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07-08-2010 17:27
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really getting sick of all these so-called "Twilight" Rip-off shows or shows that had the vampire idea but realised it after the series. How's come when "Avatar" came out. they didn't bring back the Smurfs?"
BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James chooses DirecTV over Comcast and Dish Network.
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07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser
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My favorite meetings are the ones about the important deadline for work I could be done with if I wasn't in a meeting.
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07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser
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There's an update available for my Vuvuzela app on my phone. I bet now, rather than making a noise, it just says "You"re a douchebag!"
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07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser
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Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
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07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser
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I would like to see a tax on every word that come out of the mouth of politicians. That should balance the budget in a day or two.
Tonight right before LeBron makes his announcement, Kayne West is going to jump on stage, grab the mic, and say "LeBron, LeBron.. You're a great ball player, but Michael Jordan is the best of all time." Then jump off stage.
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07-08-2010 16:50 by KingTut
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
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07-08-2010 16:39
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got so bored that I decided to take a crap for no reason
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07-08-2010 16:03
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its so hot, I just saw a bird blow a worm before it ate it
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07-08-2010 16:03
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I will say one thing about Lady GaGa. She wears stuff that even Boy George wouldn't be caught out in public in.
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07-08-2010 16:01
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trying very hard to be the person her doctor medicates her to be.
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07-08-2010 15:53
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Any views which are expressed and any similarity of persons portrayed to any actual persons living or dead in the following status message is purely incidental...
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07-08-2010 14:59 by Annon
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met a fairy today who granted me one wish, I want to live forever I said, sorry said the fairy, I am not allowed to grant wishes like that. Fine I said, I want to die when England win the World Cup, 'you crafty b@$t@rd!' said the fairy...
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07-08-2010 14:58 by samdave69
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Girls are superheros cause who else could bleed for 5 days and not die!?
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07-08-2010 14:35 by BEGO
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If you're going to have two faces, you'd think you'd make one of them attractive
DAMN! Its a preview of Hell outside today!!!
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07-08-2010 13:59
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Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.
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07-08-2010 13:53 by @seddy90
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