Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm going to invent the Facebook Status Flipbook. An animated screen capture collection. Met a new guy (flip), it's only been a week but I Love him (flip), week 2 and I hate him (flip), deleting Facebook (flip), I Love him again.

   I Love You like HELL!!! Its just that I don't want to DIE ;)

   Duran Duran have reworked one of their classic singles for the World Cup. It goes, 'His name is Rio and he watches from the stands...'

   Guess facebook is my woman because I wake up and say good morning and whats on my mind

   If they can come out with an app that can do your homework 4 you I swear...

   Does a one legged duck swim in a circle?

   Don't blow my snow man

   A dumb girl goes into pc world and asks for curtains the sales man says " you dont need curtains for a computer" she replys "but mine has windowss"..?

   The women I work with must have the most disgusting bathrooms at home for that kind of smell to emanate right outside the "Ladies Room".

   "Like"ing a comment is as good as a conversation terminator as "LOL".

   efore deciding whether you will stay up all night, you should sleep on it.

   Likes putting 1lb bags of M&M's in the Diabetic and Diet food asiles at the grocery store.

   Breaking News: Hero pigeon craps on A-Rod during 600th home run trot around the bases

   if we all have underware we like and don't like why don't we throw away the ones we don't like and buy more of the ones we do like.

   Wanted to play a game called Everybody Hates X, but realized that nobody would play because everybody hates X

   1st day of 2010 and am thinking to my self 365 days of drinking to go, my liver is giving me a finger

   life is too short to be spent pondering eternity

   says they're giving up to $1000 for a human guinea pig at the University science dept!....(twitch)..I did it last time and I'm just fine......(twitch)

   decided to judge a book by it's cover.. because sometimes they turn out to be pretty good =)

   wondering if Shaq has my back, how come he never pays my cable bill?