Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wants to do something different today so is thinking about sitting on the TV to watch the sofa!!!..=D
←Rate | 11-10-2009 04:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon --------- ̿̿̿ ̿' ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -----------
←Rate | 11-10-2009 04:41 by Khola Comments (0)  

   messageicon looking through your bedroom window
←Rate | 11-10-2009 01:42 by Gareth Comments (0)  

   messageicon we dont need no educashun
←Rate | 11-10-2009 01:40 by Gareth Comments (0)  

   messageicon "always appears a saint, when most I play the devil"
←Rate | 11-10-2009 01:35 by pz Comments (0)  

   messageicon No matter how little I do in a day....I always feel like I could have done less.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 23:58 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 23:51 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  

   messageicon Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 23:50 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  

   messageicon 4 out of 5 dentists... leaves one dentist.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 23:47 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  

   messageicon n't having a smoking section in a restaurant, like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
←Rate | 11-09-2009 22:53 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  

   messageicon writing a Christmas list: Shamwow, Snuggie, Flowbee and... a Chia Pet
←Rate | 11-09-2009 21:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon using a Magic 8 ball to answer his bosses questions.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 19:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does David Hasselhoff call himself "The Hoff"? Because he couldn't put up with the hassle.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 19:32 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon better than normal. i'm abnormal
←Rate | 11-09-2009 18:49 by Chloe Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why some men cultivate on their face that which grows freely on their arses?
←Rate | 11-09-2009 16:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..believes so strongly in reincarnation that she's written a will and left everything to herself..
←Rate | 11-09-2009 15:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon would like to point out that if every time someone masturbates, God kills a kitten... there wouldn't be such overcrowding in animal shelters.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 15:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone gifting snuggies should be immediatley disposed of.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 13:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the process of becoming a Mexican Citizen, so I can sneak back into the States and get better health coverage, financial aid, a tax free paying job, cheaper housing and all the other glorious benefits that we give out illegal immigrants.
←Rate | 11-09-2009 13:07 by ginger Comments (0)  

   messageicon was going to stop procrastinating and be productive today but I think I'll do that later. ;o)
←Rate | 11-09-2009 12:52 Comments (0)  

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