Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Wishes life was like a Nintendo game, if you had a problem you just take it out and blow on it. And everything would be fine
←Rate | 09-18-2009 15:58 by Ashden Ras Comments (0)  

   messageicon We were strangers when we met, now were even stranger!!
←Rate | 09-18-2009 13:24 by Angela Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you ever feel bad or depressed, just remember you were once the fastest most victorious sperm in the bunch!!
←Rate | 09-18-2009 13:23 by Angela Comments (0)  

   messageicon money cant by harmony and happiness, but I can buy rum!!
←Rate | 09-18-2009 13:22 by Angela Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why men never want to play with the baby, just the box it came in!
←Rate | 09-18-2009 13:21 by Angela Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks it's funny that "LOL" has gone from meaning "Laugh Out Loud" to "I have Nothing Else To Say"
←Rate | 09-18-2009 13:08 by Vitamin N Comments (1)  

   messageicon thinking that going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug.
←Rate | 09-18-2009 12:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This account has been suspended and is under review for violations of the Facebook Terms of Service (TOS). To review the TOS for yourself, please feel free to click the Terms link at the bottom of each page. Inbox items and well feed posts will be visible
←Rate | 09-18-2009 08:51 by Felesar Comments (0)  

   messageicon gunna dress up as kanye west for halloween and go around telling people " ima letchu get back to trick or treatin in a minute but, barrack obamas daughters have the best halloween costumes of all time, of all time!!!"
←Rate | 09-17-2009 16:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "If the invisible man knocks on the door, tell him I can't see him at the moment."
←Rate | 09-17-2009 16:08 by SuffolkSteve Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if its cool for people in China to get English word tattooes.
←Rate | 09-17-2009 15:14 by SuffolkSteve Comments (0)  

   messageicon just won the Australian lottery! I'll be a millionaire just as soon as I pay this $795 processing fee... Suckahs!!!
←Rate | 09-17-2009 08:18 by olemissman79 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the people sitting around me should all be wearing helmets
←Rate | 09-17-2009 00:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why is it that whenever there's two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?
←Rate | 09-16-2009 21:09 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
←Rate | 09-16-2009 13:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
←Rate | 09-16-2009 13:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die
←Rate | 09-16-2009 13:18 by randizzle Comments (0)  

   messageicon Traffic is moving pretty fast today, so I've decided to stop in the center lane open the hood and bring things back to normal. YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!
←Rate | 09-16-2009 06:18 by Psymon Comments (0)  

   messageicon also known as H1N1
←Rate | 09-16-2009 00:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ended her relationship with Kanye West...
←Rate | 09-15-2009 15:21 by abster Comments (0)  

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