Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon 90% of men like to masturbate. The other 10% don't have arms.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 17:03 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would delete you, if I didnt have to keep the numbers up on my friends list, to impress my other friends.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 16:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can now be offensive in 3 different languages.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 16:16 by Melissa C Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks you should donate your opinions to goodwill. They are used to selling crap there anyways.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 16:16 by Melissa C Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wishes I came from a country where blacking out while listening to you, was an honor.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks you are so dull that even watching you choke on a knife would be boring.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that you should embrace your problems. And then make them somebody elses.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes I was 12 again. so I could commit crimes without the oppression of the Law.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 16:12 by Melissa Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon would love to own a maternity store. He would call it "Come Inside"
←Rate | 12-06-2009 09:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tim Tebow just signed a 36 million dollar life long contract with kleenex!
←Rate | 12-06-2009 09:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes to discuss his newest disgusting rash in crowded elevators
←Rate | 12-06-2009 08:05 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life gives you melons... you know you're dyslexic.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 07:22 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many Susan Boyle's does it take to change a lightbulb? AGHHH, Turn it off, turn it off!!
←Rate | 12-06-2009 07:17 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon got an error on his Windows PC: "Keyboard not found! Press any key to continue"
←Rate | 12-06-2009 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon putting the lotion on its skin, before it gets the hose again.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 03:22 by brian b. Comments (0)  


   messageicon chose the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 02:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Surely you cant be serious! ---- Oh but I am....And dont call me Shirley
←Rate | 12-06-2009 00:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon singing and dancing around her room in her undies.
←Rate | 12-05-2009 23:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
←Rate | 12-05-2009 22:27 Comments (0)  




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