Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Not to doubt the power of fortune cookies, but I think a better fortune would of been you are about to choke on this cookie
←Rate | 08-06-2010 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hillary Clinton being a good mom asked Chelsea the day before her wedding if she had sex with Marc. Chelsea said "NO" according to dad!!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am having an out of money experience.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 15:27 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Demi & Ashton tweet about doing master cleanse diet. Can't wait to see the pic of his 1st bowel movement taken w/the Nikon CoolPix camera... lol!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 14:08 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Couple who said they had pix of John Stamos w/underage girl in hot tub were indicted for extortion. Turns out the "girl" was Justin Bieber!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 14:05 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon 16yr-old Gossip Girl Taylor Momsen says her bff is her vibrator. In creepier news, Justin Bieber says he won't leave home w/o his buttplug!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 14:04 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chris Isaak may replace Simon on Idol. My vote is for Mel Gibson. How great will it be to hear him call a contestant a “c*nt, b*tch, wh*re?”
←Rate | 08-06-2010 14:02 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Playboy launches work-friendly website. Still be nude girls but on every other page will be a naked pic of Hef to reduce workers' erections.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 14:01 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... Julianne Hough thought bf Ryan Seacrest was gay! I was so looking forward to the day when he said, “Seacrest Out…Of The Closet!”
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:59 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Bob Barker says he made “Price Is Right” exciting & Drew Carey doesn't. After telling this to TMZ, he quietly soiled his diapers.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:58 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Ellen DeGeneres has left “American Idol.” Oh great, she quits the show where she DOESN'T dance like a retard.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:54 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Snooki arrested at Jersey Shore for disorderly conduct. Cops let her go probably due to her strong resemblance to a donut... I'm just sayin'.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:53 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Artist makes portrait of Rachael Ray using Cheetos. Unfortunately, a ravenous Oprah devoured the entire thing while visiting the set.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:49 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Chelsea Clinton got married this past weekend. Great to see Chelsea grow from an awkward, homely child to an awkward, homely adult.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:48 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Pam Anderson helps relocate dogs affected by Oil Spill. Unfortnately she had to put one dog out of its misery. R.I.P. Jon Gosselin.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:47 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber to write memoir at 16. I hear his voice changes halfway through the audiobook when he goes thru puberty.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:44 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wyclef Jean to run for President of Haiti. That would be cool. Then he could totally start a band called The ReFugees.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:40 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woman claims Brett Favre texted her penisshots. At first he said he wasn't gonna do it, then he did, then wasn't going to again, then did…
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:40 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon somedays I wake up b!tchy, other days I just let her sleep in.
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just heard that Naomi Campbell walked into a library and asked for Blood Diamond. She was told "sorry dear, you're asking the wrong person, you need a Liberian!!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:25 by samdave69 Comments (0)  




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