Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
←Rate | 12-11-2009 18:00 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon reportedly "in a relationship" with tiger woods.......
←Rate | 12-11-2009 17:43 by bobhead25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against tables,chairs,etc).
←Rate | 12-11-2009 17:39 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon just bought a new game for my x box, its about a black man who drives around crashing cars sleeping with hoes and fighting with people, its called tiger woods PGA tour 2010
←Rate | 12-11-2009 15:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is it you can smoke in a tobacco store, but can't drink in a liquor store?
←Rate | 12-11-2009 14:40 by Krist@ Comments (0)  

   messageicon and they all laughed at my snuggie! who's the cold fool now?
←Rate | 12-11-2009 13:44 by paul fitz barnes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks the ultimate rejection would be to have your hand fall asleep while your masturbating! :(
←Rate | 12-11-2009 09:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Winter, I think we should spend some time apart... I'm gonna try to work things out with my ex, Summer...
←Rate | 12-11-2009 08:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon enough about Tiger Woods already!!! who cares he cheated on his wife. Cheating goes on everywhere!!!! who else is tired about hearing of it? Letterman didnt even get this kind of coverage when he did it.
←Rate | 12-11-2009 07:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why would a girl wanna be a Barbie? Barbie's are fake and dumb, yes DUMB. I'll take a natural woman any day thank you.
←Rate | 12-11-2009 07:08 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Police Station toilet stolen. Cops have nothing to go on.
←Rate | 12-11-2009 03:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon just found out the difference between kinky and erotic..erotic was the use of the feather..kinky was the whole damn chicken
←Rate | 12-11-2009 02:43 by paul barnes Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to build an ark for the events thats going to happen on 21/12/2012, I can take the 1st 100 people, Early Bird Tickets come on sale 21/12/2011, make me an offer before you miss out
←Rate | 12-11-2009 01:31 by Daniel Comments (0)  

   messageicon first we had mad cow disease, then we had bird flu, now we have swine flu, O.M.F.G it's FARMAGGEDON
←Rate | 12-11-2009 01:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Free at Last!! Free at Last!! Thank God Almighty it's Friday!!!!"
←Rate | 12-11-2009 01:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if only life came with ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP ►► FF...buttons.
←Rate | 12-11-2009 01:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a procrastinator... ehh i'll finish this post later
←Rate | 12-11-2009 00:34 by chas Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...back in the 80's my mom would scold me and say "Don't use that tone of voice with me young lady!"....I just texted my 15-year old son and said "Don't use exclamation points with me Mister!" have times changed!
←Rate | 12-10-2009 21:58 by angelmom808 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking about an Apple sporting goods store: iBalls
←Rate | 12-10-2009 21:33 by Tim Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows it's foggy and late in the day, but I'm pretty sure there's a unicorn behind me.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 19:48 Comments (0)  

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