Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 14:42 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 14:39 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon Survey reveals what women feel about their Azzes. Only 15% women feel their Azz is too big. Remaining 85% say: We don�t care, we are married to them.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 14:23 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon The teacher asked students to write an essay on 'If I were a Millionaire'. All students started writing except lil John. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" I'm waiting for my secretary,
←Rate | 04-19-2010 14:11 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon Three stages of marriage:1st Mad for each other, 2nd made for each other, 3rd mad because of each other.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 14:01 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon Written outside a temple:Why should we beleive in GOD?because there are still some questions which cannot be answered by GOOGLE
←Rate | 04-19-2010 14:00 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have a blackbelt in Karate.Its not that iam good at it,its just I never wash it..
←Rate | 04-19-2010 13:58 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon Am I the only one that hears the ice cream truck, and reaches for the gun at the same time?
←Rate | 04-19-2010 13:43 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I bet Burger King started making their cardboard crowns bigger when they realized their primary audience was drunk college students.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 13:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lecturing my kids about the dangers of alcohol would be a lot more effective if they didn't have access to my Facebook pictures.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 13:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To make it easy on everyone, here is the correct pronunciation of the Icelandic volcano Eyjafjallajokull: THOR'S BUNGHOLE.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 13:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ever just met someone you want to put in a large trash bag filled with a couple cinder blocks and drop them from a bridge? No? Me neither.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 12:21 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just wanted to let everyone to know - yesterday I received my Obama stimulus package for 2010. It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, and 10 coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish. Hope you get yours soon!
←Rate | 04-19-2010 11:05 by Samuel Warren Comments (0)  

   messageicon resides on the top of Mountain Dew.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 10:51 by Corey Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I followed the advice "live every day like it's your last," I'd become an 800 pound criminal with multiple STDs.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 09:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear news people, stop trying to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull, you are all sounding like idiots, just call it The Volcano, is way easier...
←Rate | 04-19-2010 09:32 Comments (1)  

   messageicon My 4 year old son is running around saying "Yippie-Kay-Yay" and it's taking everything I've got to keep from yelling "Mother-Fucker!" Yeah, I think I may seen "Die Hard" too many times.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 09:30 Comments (1)  

   messageicon broke someone's heart and now he's paying for that!!! [So Sorry!]
←Rate | 04-19-2010 09:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Q: Why do women live longer than men?Because Shopping never causes heart attacks,but paying the bill does!
←Rate | 04-19-2010 08:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why were hurricanes normally named after women?Because when they come they are wet and wild.But when they do they take your house & car with them ;-)
←Rate | 04-19-2010 08:53 Comments (0)  

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