Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
Page: 5658 of 5703

   messageicon Now all the lil boys can sleep easy ( no more nightmares about being kidnapped and flown to neverland)
←Rate | 06-25-2009 23:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Michael's heart: just couldn't Beat It . . . too soon? too soon?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 23:14 by Dragon-king Comments (0)  


   messageicon just heard Weird Al just faked his own death.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 22:14 by Scott T Comments (0)  


   messageicon half price concert tickets in july in London...anyone?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Undertakers have announced that now michael Jackson has died he's gonna be melted down to make toys, so the kids can play with him for a change!
←Rate | 06-25-2009 19:47 by Pete N Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if Michael Jackson's Heart was telling the Defibrillator to just Beat It?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 18:55 by Vybe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists have found a ground breaking, all natural way to cure insomnia. They call it church.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 11:57 by mat2sm00th Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves it when you call me big pappa.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided to stop listenin to the voices in his head..
←Rate | 06-25-2009 08:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon does not want to be bothered today...just tell everyone I'm hiking on the Appalachian Trail.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 08:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon can no longer hula hoop. At least I can still blow bubbles. And to my sicker friends, don't ask who Bubbles is.
←Rate | 06-25-2009 07:55 by Suzanne Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what chairs would look like if your knees bent the other way....
←Rate | 06-25-2009 05:38 by Pete N Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't find Sesame Street on his GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
←Rate | 06-25-2009 00:35 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is worse than divorce.. I've lost half of my assets and I still have my wife.!!!!
←Rate | 06-24-2009 19:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I borrowed my friend a tenner yesterday. This morning I found pictures of myself on the frontpage of most national newspaper with the following headline 'UK's third biggest lender'!
←Rate | 06-24-2009 19:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now remember, what happens in Vegas stays, in Vegas... Except herpes, that will come back with you.
←Rate | 06-24-2009 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon MARRIED: STOP, ok, on my list of things to do in life, getting married is LAST, right after suicide!!!
←Rate | 06-24-2009 02:22 by chuckzie Comments (0)  


   messageicon in a relationship with Kate Gosselin.
←Rate | 06-23-2009 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to pull a borat on megan fox
←Rate | 06-23-2009 13:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays.
←Rate | 06-22-2009 18:35 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left