Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 5658 of 5762

   messageicon Erin Culbertson Did you know that a woman has 3 knees and a man has 4 knees? A woman has a left knee, a right knee, and a hiney. A man has a left knee, a right knee, a hiney, and a weenie.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 22:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you notice this notice, then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing
←Rate | 11-12-2009 22:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon out like janet jackson's right nipple! g'nite! =)
←Rate | 11-12-2009 21:18 by meowmix Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why noses run and feet smell?
←Rate | 11-12-2009 20:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the only break in life you get is when you die. Live life to the fullest. Be who you are and let these mortals know who you are, They will never forget you.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 19:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon your "sofa king we todd did"
←Rate | 11-12-2009 19:34 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishes Carrie Prejean would stop sending me video tapes...I told her it is over.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 19:14 by Todd Rollison Comments (0)  

   messageicon says When you go to the drug store to buy condoms, ask them where the fitting room is
←Rate | 11-12-2009 19:11 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where are all the virgins that Bin Laden promised me?
←Rate | 11-12-2009 18:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only Robinson Crusoe had ever everything done by Friday.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 17:53 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom!
←Rate | 11-12-2009 17:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon i made a starteling discovery this morning, apparently someone broke into my house last night and stole my "baggie" jeans from last year and replaced them with "skinny" jeans
←Rate | 11-12-2009 15:43 by fatkid Comments (0)  

   messageicon The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 14:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon What did that nurse say? Brain damage? F**k I was born during an earthquake.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 14:36 by BARBZ_DA_BOSS Comments (0)  

   messageicon switching up on you ordinary b!tchesss.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 14:33 by BARBZ_DA_BOSS Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am perfection in the realm of understanding without comprehension in the abyss of normality.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 14:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon am no gynaecologist but am gonna look anyway!!!!!
←Rate | 11-12-2009 13:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon there sure is going to be a lot of people losing their virginity in the year 2012.
←Rate | 11-12-2009 12:44 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML
←Rate | 11-12-2009 12:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I" before "E" except after "C"...... WEIRD...
←Rate | 11-12-2009 12:10 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left