Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Beauty is only a light switch away...
←Rate | 02-04-2010 19:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Make love, not war.-Hell, do both GET MARRIED!
←Rate | 02-04-2010 19:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
←Rate | 02-04-2010 19:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friends don't let friends take home ugly broads...
←Rate | 02-04-2010 19:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you expect me stop dreaming...I'd give up. If you expect me to give up...I'd stop dreaming. ;-)
←Rate | 02-04-2010 18:59 by j dubb Comments (0)  

   messageicon as Vice-President of Toyota I would like to say please dial 1800-our-bad.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 18:02 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die...
←Rate | 02-04-2010 18:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only way you have a 12 incher is when you leave Subway!!!
←Rate | 02-04-2010 18:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend has the last word in any argument... Anything I say after that is the beginning of a new argument
←Rate | 02-04-2010 18:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Strangers have the best candy!
←Rate | 02-04-2010 18:00 by Darkside Comments (0)  

   messageicon Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals...
←Rate | 02-04-2010 17:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon says that other's opinions are just other's opinions... stay true to your inner guidance and smile at all the frowns...
←Rate | 02-04-2010 17:16 by Paul Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Toyota should change its motto from "Moving Forward" to "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:31 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:29 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Obama could help solve the Toyota crisis by raising the federal speed limit to 120 mph
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:26 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon Disney World : A people's trap operated by a mouse.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:21 by LEMONPILLOW Comments (0)  

   messageicon hates it when he asks someone a question and they start their answer with "Honestly?"......No! Please lie to me, that's what I was hoping for.....idiots!
←Rate | 02-04-2010 15:44 by Vitamin N Comments (2)  

   messageicon wishing he had bought his ex the Toyota Prius she was always wanting!
←Rate | 02-04-2010 15:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon misses the good old days of giving a box of heart's saying I want to get down with you in so many words!"
←Rate | 02-04-2010 15:11 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon Best part of my life is chocolate ice cream
←Rate | 02-04-2010 14:31 Comments (0)  

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