Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.
←Rate | 04-22-2009 23:49 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to stab you."
←Rate | 04-22-2009 20:14 by Mh Comments (0)  

   messageicon to all the wackos who believe in global warming try coming to Idaho in the middle of March..It'll snow
←Rate | 04-22-2009 19:32 by Kay Comments (0)  

   messageicon informing you that 95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5% that would shout Jump!!
←Rate | 04-22-2009 10:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon and Richard Simmons are now friends
←Rate | 04-22-2009 07:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to Google her Myspace while she Twitters my Yahoo.
←Rate | 04-22-2009 03:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to say to the nice stranger he saw while driving around, "Next time you wave at me, use all of your fingers."
←Rate | 04-22-2009 01:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon two wrongs don't make a right... but two Wrights make an airplane!
←Rate | 04-21-2009 14:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon may have Memory Loss but, at least he doesn't have Memory Loss
←Rate | 04-21-2009 12:02 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  

   messageicon an appetite for destruction...and he is starving this week
←Rate | 04-21-2009 11:57 by Ron Comments (0)  

   messageicon in trouble for moving all the bibles to the fiction section at Barnes 'N Noble
←Rate | 04-21-2009 10:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows he was unwanted as a child when he found his bath toys were a radio and a toaster!
←Rate | 04-21-2009 10:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon shot a man in Reno just to watch him die
←Rate | 04-21-2009 09:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon playing a Rusty Trombone
←Rate | 04-21-2009 09:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the person your mom warned you about!
←Rate | 04-21-2009 01:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
←Rate | 04-20-2009 23:56 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
←Rate | 04-20-2009 22:51 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering what the hell Jesus ever did for Santa on his Birthday?
←Rate | 04-20-2009 22:46 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders if dyslexic devil worshipers sell their soul to Santa
←Rate | 04-20-2009 22:45 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon A.D.D stands for Attention Deficite....hey look a butterfly!
←Rate | 04-20-2009 22:28 by Snarfiggs Oh Yea! Comments (0)  

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