Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I'm not usually a fan of cliche's, but every now and then it's ok to ask yourself what you're truly thankful for...
←Rate | 11-26-2009 18:21 by potts Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gotta love sharing a bathroom with elderly family after Thanksgiving Dinner...I feel like Andy Dufrain crawling thru those 200 hundred yards of pipe for freedom....
←Rate | 11-26-2009 16:59 by DS Comments (1)  

   messageicon Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 15:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
←Rate | 11-26-2009 15:46 by kibbs23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thank god I'm ambidextrious and thank you redtube
←Rate | 11-26-2009 13:58 Comments (1)  

   messageicon can't wait for this 365 day weekend to begin.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 13:48 by fefe Comments (0)  

   messageicon An Indian man dies and goes to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates,he meets an angel. Angel asks "Who are you here to see?". "Jesus!" the man replies. The angel then shouts "Jesus! Your taxi's here!".
←Rate | 11-26-2009 12:23 by Lemonpillow Comments (1)  

   messageicon I love the Macys Thanksgiving day parade. Where you can watch your favorite stars lipsync to their hit songs!
←Rate | 11-26-2009 10:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Norton Shores, Michigan - a teenage girl had her neck bit by the young man sitting in front of her during a screening of the new Twilight movie. So caught up, he committed to being a vampire. Don't even ask what happened when he saw Brokeback Mountain
←Rate | 11-26-2009 09:52 by @Felesar Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love a Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 08:08 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon HOLIDAY SHOPPING TIP #1: When the lines at the supermarket are out the door. Say loudly "Ill take the next customer on register #_ _"Then make your way to the nearest "Real" open register.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 02:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump, may your potatoes and gravy have a nary lump. May your yams be delicious, And your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs! HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL..........
←Rate | 11-26-2009 02:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I beat up a Ninja once...True story.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 01:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves animals... especially in gravy
←Rate | 11-25-2009 22:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I celebrate Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invite everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we have an enormous feast, and then I kill them and take their land.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 21:37 by Benny Comments (0)  

   messageicon So stick that in your juice box & suck it!!
←Rate | 11-25-2009 20:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hangovers: the wrath of grapes.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 18:53 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon filthy,stinking rich. Well,two out of three ain't bad.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 18:52 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Thanksgivings...Screw the turkey, I want to stuff my woman...
←Rate | 11-25-2009 17:46 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon May contain nuts.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 15:56 Comments (0)  

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