Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
Page: 5647 of 5701

   messageicon Ex-wife For Sale...Just take over payment.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 11:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says two fools make a moron, two morons make an imbecile, two imbeciles make an idiot and two idiots make a marriage.
←Rate | 08-10-2009 03:30 by pz Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 16:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon running with scissors and eating paste
←Rate | 08-09-2009 15:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hoping to be abducted on Monday and set free on Friday...I know its a pretty wishful thinking.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my birthday and I'll lie if I want to.
←Rate | 08-08-2009 12:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon : If Blind people wear Dark Glasses...why don't Deaf people wear Earmuffs?
←Rate | 08-07-2009 11:49 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders...If 7-11 is open 24hrs a Day, 365 Days a year......Why are there locks on the door?
←Rate | 08-07-2009 11:41 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bloody speed cameras are a complete con. Not only do the photos take about five weeks to arrive, but they cost £75 a picture.
←Rate | 08-07-2009 10:43 by roon Comments (0)  


   messageicon campaigning early... 'Anyone Else 2012'
←Rate | 08-07-2009 08:43 by jennifer Comments (0)  


   messageicon ,"for god so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son,that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life."JOHN 3:16
←Rate | 08-07-2009 03:42 Comments (4)  


   messageicon not an actor on TV but is one in real life.
←Rate | 08-07-2009 02:33 by Jacob Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your having facial spasms I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a twitch aint one.
←Rate | 08-06-2009 21:38 by Ede Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first person who milked a cow... wtf were they doing there?
←Rate | 08-06-2009 21:38 by Ede Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have to change much to change everything.
←Rate | 08-06-2009 21:37 by Ede Comments (0)  


   messageicon marriage? no thanks I can't mate in captivity.
←Rate | 08-06-2009 21:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon duct tape is like violence: If it's not working, you're not using enough of it.
←Rate | 08-06-2009 19:36 by CoderDemon Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes huge ( . )Y( . )
←Rate | 08-05-2009 16:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't blame Congress. If I had 600 billion does I would be irresponsible too...
←Rate | 08-05-2009 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon auditioned to be the 5th Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but sadly, is too old.
←Rate | 08-05-2009 00:44 by Rexx Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left