Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Twister. Its all fun and games til the cat comes up pregnant
←Rate | 01-05-2010 09:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon applied to be an exotic dancer and had to audition. They are stupid, I know for a fact, that the chicken dance is sexier naked.
←Rate | 01-05-2010 09:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Victoria Secrets catalog just arrived, my wife has informed me that none of the women are real, just cgi and photoshop....sigh!
←Rate | 01-05-2010 07:53 by Tad Comments (0)  

   messageicon he can't pull a rabbit from a hat , but he can pull a hare from his hole
←Rate | 01-05-2010 04:22 by james Comments (0)  

   messageicon not bothered by that fact that knowone understands him, its the reality that most of the time he doesnt understand himself; thats what scares him.
←Rate | 01-05-2010 03:56 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  

   messageicon tired of waking up to his antics so she set a trap last night..Jack Frost won't be nipping any noses now for a LONG time..
←Rate | 01-05-2010 03:34 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:58 by ladyk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dammmmn right I'm good in bed I can sleep for days
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just had my LEFT side removed. I'm all RIGHT now
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:32 by Yobs Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so sorry you must think I actually value your opinion!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cheers to alcohol the cause of and solution to all life's problems.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon BE NICE to kids...SERIOUSLY they have weapons now!!!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon sometimes I wish I was a monkey so I could throw poo at people--like you!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks your so make barbie look real!!!!!!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon doesn't have to make sense to be funny!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon He said " I dont know why you were a bra, you have nothing to put in it." She says "Well you wear pants dont you?"
←Rate | 01-04-2010 21:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your 90% the reason why I get up every morning the other 10% is because I have to pee...
←Rate | 01-04-2010 21:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants you to think of the word "Politics". Poly means "many" and "ticks" are blood sucking creatures.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 21:02 by mullerman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do Not Disturb I I am already disturbed enough
←Rate | 01-04-2010 20:44 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon must save their Midevil babes from the evil "robot-us'es" and win the Battle of the Bands. The future of the world depends on it!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 20:26 by Bill&Ted Comments (0)  

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