Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
←Rate | 02-22-2010 20:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon we go together like pimps hands and hoes faces
←Rate | 02-22-2010 19:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon true understanding can only be achieved through a balanced application of both head and heart...
←Rate | 02-22-2010 19:27 by AndrewB Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 19:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why that frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 18:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is like a warm cookie, you think you got it in one peice then it all crumbles
←Rate | 02-22-2010 18:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just shaved a hedgehog. It was pointless.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 18:00 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way. Through the driver's door.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:59 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon Man, good thing the Obama family got that dog. I'm pretty sure Sasha and Malia were tired of throwing frisbees at Joe Biden.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:43 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants you to know that these are in fact Bugle Boy jeans he's wearing.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ready for upgrades, modifications and custom made specifications. (DP)
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishes he could delete people in real life as fast as he can his facebook friends.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes when my internet is down,i forget that the rest of my computer still works.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:02 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon When life hands you lemons, squirt the juice in your eye..the stinging sensation will stop your whining.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 15:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Men,, we age like fine wine, women on the other hand age like milk,,, I hope you like yogurt
←Rate | 02-22-2010 15:02 by Gary Comments (0)  

   messageicon More excited than Tiger Woods in a Strip Club
←Rate | 02-22-2010 14:36 by Otis Breeze Comments (2)  

   messageicon Could switching to Geico really save you 50% or more on car insurance???.....Does being on Facebook really give you the feeling that people's lives are a little over-exaggerated just by reading their status updates?
←Rate | 02-22-2010 13:55 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon The difference between divorce and legal seperation is that legal seperation gives a husband time to hide his money.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 13:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Would rather wash clothes than go to a Wnba game
←Rate | 02-22-2010 13:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in bed by 9, and home by 11..
←Rate | 02-22-2010 12:23 by Yaj Comments (0)  

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