Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon just spit out his stride gum.
←Rate | 09-07-2009 21:15 by skillaz Comments (0)  

   messageicon stop the bus let my friend jack off...
←Rate | 09-06-2009 21:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I cannot fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.
←Rate | 09-05-2009 08:25 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.
←Rate | 09-05-2009 05:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon not lazy, he's just phsycially conservative.
←Rate | 09-05-2009 00:28 by Tim Comments (0)  

   messageicon santa's overated.
←Rate | 09-04-2009 17:19 by Jakie587 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks DJ AM should have been buried in the morning......just sayin'
←Rate | 09-03-2009 17:00 by troy Comments (0)  

   messageicon you look so beautiful.......GOD THIS THING SUCKS AT SARCASM
←Rate | 09-03-2009 14:42 by blade Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishing everyone a happy Friday eve!
←Rate | 09-03-2009 08:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How many of the Lost cast does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it will take 20 episodes.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:44 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon asks if what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas....... then why did my new wife follow me home????
←Rate | 09-02-2009 01:33 by guest-TJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon just realized that if you change the word "wand" to "wang" in the Harry Potter books, suddenly the books become a lot more interesting.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 01:15 by pedro Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows the last digit of PI.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 00:41 by Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Wake Me Up When September Ends"
←Rate | 09-01-2009 23:18 by ziado Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt?....You're wondering now!!
←Rate | 09-01-2009 22:47 by Scott Comments (0)  

   messageicon tonights "Built Ford Tough" Player of the Game
←Rate | 09-01-2009 19:10 by iLL Rated Comments (0)  

   messageicon My hamster died today He fell asleep at the wheel.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 17:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tell me now before I blow twenty bucks on drinks.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 11:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon re-naming his remote "G-Spot". Why you ask? 'Cause he can never find it.
←Rate | 08-31-2009 11:14 by Chaos Koala Comments (0)  

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