Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Pyongyang can't party. It has no Seoul.

   Pastor Joel Osteen won't open his Houston ⛪ church that can hold 16,000 for hurricane victims because it only provides shelter from taxes.

   Woman cradles and protects child. Man carries and protects both. This is how it ought to be, despite what your gender studies professor says.

   Does any one cares about KKK, white supremacy, Neo-Nazi, illigal immigrants, Confederate Statues in Houston? Just asking for a friend

   People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .

   Why are people talking about Trump and hurricane Harvey, when they are not blasting Obama for Katrina. Am I right?

   No I am not aware Taylor Swift has a new album because I don't listen to trash. I throw it out.

   Does anyone really ever listen to the wedding march melody? Dumb dumb de dumb ...... Dumb dumb de dumb.

   Taylor Swift should have grabbed that microphone from Kanye and said "Sorry, but Martin Luther King Jr. had the best speech of all time."

   Lynn Yaeger? Never heard of him.

   If two vegans had an argument, is it still beef?

   When my ex eats alphabet soup she chokes on the D!!!

   I always felt like a boy trapped inside a woman’s body… then I was born.

   Feeling down? Just play your wedding tape backwards and you'll feel better.

   Trump comes to Texas and the sun immediately comes out. Amazing!

   See what happens when you name a hurricane after a man! He won't ask directions, wanders around lost, leaves a mess and doesn't clean up after himself!

   I thought Hurricane Harvey was the miss Universe thing

   Before you go driving thru flood water, remember water made the Grand Canyon.

   "Where was obama during the san francisco earthquake of 1906???" - Trump supporters

   it just me or has Aunt Jimmah lost weight?