Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5233 of 6370
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dear Algebra, All year you made me try to find your X !!! Listen buddy...She's not coming back....So please get over it and move on!!
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:43 by Will
Comments (0)
I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:33 by Will
Comments (2)
(1)Google Translate (2)Type,"Will Justin Bieber ever hit puberty" (3)Eng 2 Vietnamese (4)Copy/Paste the Vietnamese Words (5)Vietnamese 2 English
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:31 by Will
Comments (0)
Just change the name of my ipod to The Titanic. So whenever I plug it in to my computer it says the titanic is syncing.
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:27 by Will
Comments (3)
Little Johnny wrote to Santa, "I want a baby brother for christmas." Santa wrote back' "Send me your Mother. '
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:24 by Dopey420
Comments (20)
women see men like bank accounts. Without money they don't generate much interest.
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:23
Comments (0)
ⓘ ⓦⓐⓢ ⓑⓞⓡⓔⓓ, ⓢⓞ ⓘ ⓓⓔ©ⓘⓓⓔⓓ ⓣⓞ ⓟⓤⓣ ⓛⓔⓣⓣⓔⓡⓢ ⓘⓝⓢⓘⓓⓔ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔⓢ.
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:10 by Dopey420
Comments (0)
˙ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ sı
←Rate |
01-25-2011 13:07 by Dopey420
Comments (0)
It confuses me when I see a cougar wearing a leopard print sweater.
←Rate |
01-25-2011 12:44 by jdpower
Comments (0)
Whatever happend to Sex, Drugs , & Rock & Roll, Now we just have AIDS ,CRACK And Techno
←Rate |
01-25-2011 12:43
Comments (0)
Boy sees his mom and dad having sex. Dad says "were making you a brother." Boy replies " do her doggy style, I rather have a puppy.".
←Rate |
01-25-2011 12:41 by Will
Comments (4)
Remember when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bi**h slap them!
←Rate |
01-25-2011 12:35 by Dopey420
Comments (0)
Obama should pull an Ollie the Weatherman tonight... And now, the President of the United States.... "WE'RE BROKE!!!" --Cut to commercial--
←Rate |
01-25-2011 10:32
Comments (0)
Early preview of tonight's State Of The Union: It sucks. We're broke. Quit *itching. Goodnight.
←Rate |
01-25-2011 09:32 by Bill
Comments (0)
Im so tired of this winter and snow that I rigged a gasoline can to my leaf blower, I'm on a mission now to melt all the snow so I can mow later
←Rate |
01-25-2011 07:59 by SEAN
Comments (0)
Dear Mr. Pinto Bean, I'm very sorry I ate you and a couple of hundred of your friends, but there is no need for you to panic and plot your escape.....
←Rate |
01-25-2011 07:32 by scottyp
Comments (0)
I like walking into bars and hitting up the jute box and playing Right Said Fred I'm too sexy 20 times in a row and leaving!
←Rate |
01-25-2011 03:21
Comments (3)
..and I would have gotten away with it, if it wasnt for those meddling policemen
←Rate |
01-25-2011 00:39 by MLB
Comments (0)
wants to be Oprah"s secret half sister!
←Rate |
01-25-2011 00:13 by Maureen
Comments (0)