Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5228 of 6370
Helmet strapped down, crayons sharpened, it's going to be a great day!
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01-26-2011 17:36 by Dunno
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When someone tries to impress you, it means they're impressed by you.
I don't take anything you say seriously. You're just an idiot who has internet access.
I've changed the lock on my heart.. So stick the old key up your ass.
Lawsuit claims Taco Bell tacos only 35% real beef. I think I speak for all of us when I say wow that much?
Yep it is that time of year when some of us hate tax time!!! Thanks too the goverment you will get my money again this year!!!! Hope you will enjoy it
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01-26-2011 15:35
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is just me, or does anyone else's cold medina taste a little funky?
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01-26-2011 15:18
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Hey West Coast, it's the East Coast. We checked it out for you, and today isn't worth getting up for. Go ahead and sleep in.
If you're having trouble with using the correct your/you're, just use “ur” because ur a moron!
Taco Bell putting Fritos in there Burrito..... then Subway should stack chips in there subs .. am just saying
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01-26-2011 14:07
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getting a restraining order on Old Man Winter
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01-26-2011 14:07 by kman
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How do you spell "clitoris"? I don't know but I had it on the tip of my tongue a moment ago.
Dear FB users, quit using lower case i's and quit putting them right in front (with no space) of the next consonant....it's not cute anymore.
a Japanese Atheist. He doesn't believe in Godzilla.
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01-26-2011 13:48 by Joe
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From what I can tell, a Boomerang is just a Frisbee for people who don't have any friends...
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01-26-2011 13:30 by scottyp
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Boy.... That sure is a lot of attitude for someone wearing panda ear rings.
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01-26-2011 13:22
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Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco to change last name back to Johnson. This must be one of the big changes promised by the team......WTF!!
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01-26-2011 13:07 by Bill
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They should make Vodka ChapStick
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01-26-2011 12:16 by letsfly
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attention is the fuel that feeds immaturity.
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01-26-2011 12:15
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if you need any more proof that people's self perception is skewed, just look at their avatars. How you weigh 500 lbs but your avatar is 120 lbs. at best?
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01-26-2011 11:54
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