Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The deplorables have been busy breeding right under our noses and now their populations is out of control, thats why Trump won.

   Look at the bright side. The gas price increase is still less than the cost of a replacement battery for an electric car.

   Super bowl sucked I guess we should blame Trump for that too.... haha

   can whoever turned off the bermuda triangle please turn it back on again thanks

   Trump looks like the rich dad on Law and Order whose son accidentally strangles the hooker.

   I got a speeding ticket yesterday...But my attorney, Rudy Giuliani, plead it down to 1st Degree Murder.

   *Maury opens envelope*......................"Necessity IS the mother of Invention!"....... *Necessity jumps up and throws chair across stage*

   Basiji, in Iran, calls "Death To America" not the whole nation – Basijis are some minority brain-washed people like you who wrote this statement. The Radical party intimidates - forces - people and brings them to street.

   "Mirror, mirror; on the floor.... Who's got the biggest hemorrhoids of them all?"

   Trump is totally that Chucky doll all grown up and running for President. Here's Chucky, Here's Trumpy!!!

   I LOVE JESUS, you don't have to be a bitter atheist about it, I'm just expressing my sentiment with the majority of the people here. I LOVE JESUS

   When looking up Gary Oldman on Google make sure you don't leave out the 'R'..

   Hi. I'm a hot single chick. But I can't be in a relationship because I have to cater to my two lazy, spoiled teenage brats 24/7/365.

   Now wait a minute, y'all This status ain't for everybody?"Only the sexy people. So all you fly mothers, get on out there and “Like” “Like”, I said!"

   So, what has the Queen ever done for us?

   Then God said, “Let there be Internet drama”; and there was Internet drama. And God saw that it was good.

   I hate it when I'm trying to kill a spider but then I lose track of it and I become a victim in my own home.......

   I have watched, line by line, as a picture of a topless girl tries to load through a 28.8k modem onto a pentium II -only to see it fail at nipple level

   if her rims are worth more than her car, she's too hood for you bro

   Baby seal walks in a bar. Bartender: "what'll you have?" Baby Seal: "Anything but a Canadian Club"