Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The NRA finally said how to tell a good guy with a gun from a bad guy with a gun. It involves pigmentation.

   If only he took the Coronavirus as serious as he did with windmill cancer.

   i love updating my status while dri

   God created sex. Priests created marriage

   ↖↖↖↖↖↖↖↑↗↗↗ ↗↗ ↗ ←← my friends are awesome →→ ↙↙↙↙↙↙↙↓↘↘↘ ↘ ↘ ↘

   Friends are like potatoes if you eat them they die

   I wish I could move out of country now, however immigrant laws of other countries prevent me from doing that... I hear the U.S is pretty lenient on immigrants, I might try there.... Doooope

   I just found out why Heidi Klum filed for divorce. Against her wishes....Seal would balance, spin, and bounce her up n' down on the tip of his nose whilst happily barking and clapping.

   Obama for Italy 2013

   I invented a steak sauce. The ingredients; Au Jus, Shiitake Mushrooms, and Vinegar. No one will market it. They have a problem with the name. I named after the three ingredients. What's so bad about: "Au Shiit Niga!"

   watching today the bare-knuckled, bruising clash between competitors vying to win recognition for their national pride. Then President Obama dismissed the Healthcare summit and I watched the Olympics.

   heard that Corey Feldman was reportedly wandering around Haimlessly in Los Angeles

   Every family has an old beach towel with a cartoon character on it and nobody knows where it came from

   What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese

   She was Hannah Montana when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama.

   My makers were my parents, not sure who yours are. Fairytales from a 2000 year old book is useless.

   What do you call a black guy with millions of white friends? Mr President

   Do you consider it as an insult to be hit on by a gay guy? YES - t hums d0wn NO - t humbs Uo

   US Presidential elections 2012, polls close. "So, Barack, how many votes did you get?" asks his wife Michelle. "Two," he responds. She slaps him hard across the face. "What was that for?" "You have a mistress, now do you!!?"

   planning on driving to the south Florida for the Super Bowl. Let's just hope I don't "FUMBLE" my keys a few times before getting there.