Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
I guess I have to set my phone on OKC mode this weekend........No Rings! 
LOL!!!! we need more post like the mirror one, your slacking here people!
The key to a womens heart is... giving her all of yours! <3
Today I was pulled over by a woman cop... I didn't know kitchens had speed limits
I bet Carroll Shelby went from Alive to Dead in less than 10 seconds
If it's a lady, I like to speak quickly in the drive-thru at Burger King by saying: "I have a Whopper!" When they ask: "what would you like on it?" YOU!
Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status - after three times it should default to unstable
Naked pic's of George Clooney.....crap this isn't Google
“Are you asleep?” “No! I was in a comma, thanks for saving me."
I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
It's 420. I don't even smoke weed...That's my credit score...
A WOMAN'S FOUR FAVORITE ANIMALS: A mink in the closet , a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an a*s to pay for it all !
Knows the world will look up and shout “Save us!”… And he'll whisper “No.”
"Cristiano Ronaldo's Spitting Mad at TV Camera after Portugal Exit".............dis shows what a loser he is ..............:P:P:P
A women's work is never done.especially is she asksk her husband to do it
Out came the sun & dried up all the rain, and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again!
I think it's hilarious people have profile pics up of them from 2 yrs ago. You do not look like that anymore, hunny. lol
How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it.
Kate Middleton has asked the Queen for advice on her marriage and the Queen said "Wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off." 