santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause
←Rate | 11-22-2011 18:33 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour...
←Rate | 12-18-2013 22:37 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about partaking in the secret santa at work means I can finally give one special lady the mustache trimmer she so desperately needs.
←Rate | 11-25-2011 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to go out and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:39 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Won a $50 gift card to Chili's at Christmas raffle. In other news, decided my secret santa is getting a $14.37 gift card to Chili's for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 17:47 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so nice having my family around for the holidays. It really makes me appreciate their absence the rest of the year.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 02:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's a good Christmas gift for the woman who already has everything except morals?
←Rate | 11-15-2012 13:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear retail stores. August 21st is too damn early for Christmas decorations. Take them down. Now.
←Rate | 08-21-2013 09:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First you have to tell 'em Santa's not real. Then you have to tell 'em Nicki Minaj is real.. ..no wonder the kids are confused.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 13:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get "drunk" during the holidays I get "festive".
←Rate | 12-09-2013 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the official day for guys to start Christmas shopping!!!!
←Rate | 12-23-2014 11:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can read this, chances are you won't be recieving a gift from me this Christmas. Happy Holidays!
←Rate | 12-15-2010 07:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term 'Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
←Rate | 12-03-2016 16:22 by McFazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
←Rate | 12-09-2017 08:36 by UncleBubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every Christmas for the last 15 years, I've been too drunk to remember the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, enough is enough. It's time to get my act together. This Christmas, I'm hiring a cameraman.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I noticed that every time I hear that Christmas song about nuts roasting on an open fire, my testicles move into a defensive formation.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 16:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drove by a house today that had about 15 of those inflatable Christmas lawn decorations. In the daytime it looks like there was a drive by shooting in the North Pole and there were no survivors.
←Rate | 12-13-2010 00:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!
←Rate | 12-02-2009 20:33 by Joser Comments (0)  




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