santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Nothing like a dysfunctional family trying to function for the Holidays.
←Rate | 12-18-2011 15:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *<]:{ > Dear Santa, This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body and please don't get it backwards like you did last year [:p
←Rate | 12-14-2010 12:38 by AT Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 09:00 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-(
←Rate | 12-24-2010 16:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 01:21 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 17:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 21:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...
←Rate | 11-03-2011 10:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,
←Rate | 12-12-2011 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants a dirty picture of you so I can add it to my Xmas wishlist to send to Santa
←Rate | 10-30-2010 21:10 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
←Rate | 12-18-2013 07:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna laugh 2 years from now when all of those people who thought the world was gonna end on Dec. 22, 2012 realize that they are still gonna have to go out and buy Christmas presents.....
←Rate | 01-17-2010 02:11 by Ginger C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎5 reasons hurricanes are like Christmas...5) Family & friends out-of state-calling you 4) Last minute shopping in crowded stores 3) Days off from work 2) Candles 1) And at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!
←Rate | 08-27-2011 08:35 by Shawn Rutter Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing Christmas stockings
←Rate | 04-21-2012 05:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon my neighbors put their Christmas decorations up early, so I put my Easter stuff out just to one-up them.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 20:22 by boomtastic Comments (0)  


   messageicon What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:09 by will Comments (2)  


   messageicon Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...
←Rate | 12-08-2010 16:59 by @Torren_T Comments (0)  




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