santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be home for Christmas.....and in therapy by New Years.
←Rate | 12-08-2016 09:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!
←Rate | 12-02-2009 20:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Christmas, is to keep the things I've got.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 08:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon .♫♪♫..it's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas...♫♪♫
←Rate | 12-06-2010 12:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drove by a house today that had about 15 of those inflatable Christmas lawn decorations. In the daytime it looks like there was a drive by shooting in the North Pole and there were no survivors.
←Rate | 12-13-2010 00:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)
←Rate | 12-09-2010 19:04 by franknsign Comments (0)  


   messageicon People still shooting off fireworks better be careful that they don't hit any of the Christmas decorations they never took down.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour...
←Rate | 12-18-2013 22:37 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by switching to single
←Rate | 11-29-2011 20:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas Gift idea: Take her to the Planetarium so she can see the world doesn't revolve around her.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:48 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering? Horse? Catapult? Helicopter drop? Santa?
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎5 reasons hurricanes are like Christmas...5) Family & friends out-of state-calling you 4) Last minute shopping in crowded stores 3) Days off from work 2) Candles 1) And at some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!
←Rate | 08-27-2011 08:35 by Shawn Rutter Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTH!!! It's 2 days until Christmas and none of stores have their Valentine's Day stuff displayed.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 15:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:30 by mickeybruce Comments (2)  


   messageicon Do car companies REALLY think it's possible that a spouse is secretly able to obtain financing, purchase a car, have it wrapped in a bow, and delivered on Christmas Eve?
←Rate | 12-02-2010 18:28 Comments (1)  


   messageicon It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.
←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
←Rate | 12-16-2013 16:36 by lkl627 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I'm calling Santa!"
←Rate | 12-03-2013 16:55 by EF Comments (0)  



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